Aug 17, 2003 02:49 PM
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(Updated Aug 17, 2003 06:51 PM)
I love reading inspirational & motivating self-help books coz if there is anyone who needs help, its me! lolz.... The One Minute Apology by Ken Blanchard & Margaret McBride is a new addition to the popular One Minute Manager series, once again this book presents its valuable counseling in the framework of a story.
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The Toughest part of Apologizing Is Realizing & Admitting That You Are Wrong:
The parable begins with a young Man, assistant to a company president & a unfortunate company meeting that makes him realize his boss needs to face & deal with some crucial mistakes, in order to save his job & the troubled company too. But before helping out his boss, this young man has to himself get certain advice, for which he turns to a family friend, the One Minute Manager [OMM].
Over a relaxing weekend the OMM, with his step-by-step ''one minute'' strategies, shows the young man how we should/can accept responsibility for our errors & deal with the cause of the damage, all the while also trying our best to maintain a genuine sense of integrity & hope to improve the situation.
OMM rightfully points out that admitting to our mistakes is one the most difficult thing in life but it is better to face the fact & apologize for our mistakes, rather than waiting/avoiding & later being humiliated when we finally are brought to terms with the truth. Apologizing for our mistakes is also an important step in restoring trust, a crucial element both in business as well as personal relationships. OMM also gives advice on how to apologize successfully - once we surrender to the truth of our mistake, we must write a statement that says exactly what our mistakes were - the time put into writing this is much longer than the ''one minute'' it takes to read the written statement. This should be followed by apologizing, not merely to bring the problem to an end but only because apologizing is the right thing to do, whether or not the desired outcome results. OMM asserts that good things happen when people stop worrying only about winning or losing.
Enlightened with this new simplistic method of practicing the art of apologizing, the young man then sets out to help his boss..... beginning with being forthright about his bosses mistakes, inform him about the reasons of the company's troubles, make the company president apologize to the board of directors as that would be the first step to start making changes that will turn their business around.
Precious nuggets from the OMM:
As the story progresses OMM expands upon his advice with interesting examples... the one mentioned here are self-explanatory...
To solve our problems tactfully one needs to avoid phrases like ''should have'' would have & if only.....These are ''Worry Words'' which make us feel overwhelmed, discouraged & confused. These keep us stuck in past & prevent from taking our best course of action. They also keep us away from being honest with ourself!
At the core of most problems is a TRUTH that we don't want to face; avoiding the truth only spins the problem out of our control. It is only when we face the truth that we would be free.... to apologize & solve our problem.
The longer we wait to apologize, the sooner our weakness is perceived as wickedness
ONE Minute:
of apology begins with surrender and ends with integrity
of being honest with ourself is worth more than days, months or years of self-deception
of apology makes you more aware of how much your behaviour affects others
of apology can be effective way to correct a mistake you have made & restore the trust needed for a good relationship
Without a change in your behaviour, just saying ''I'm sorry'' ain't enough
Apologize not for the outcome but only coz you know you were wrong & its the right thing to do!
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The Book/Authors:
Ken Blanchard who has earlier coauthored the The One Minute Manager & eleven other best-selling books, now along with co-author Margaret McBride, presents yet another simple-n-strategically management secret : Apologizing & taking responsibility for our mistakes. Blanchard believes that if implemented properly, this could be one of the most powerful actions for improving work & personal life morale. As with this earlier One Minute books, there is some more winning advice from the One Minute Manager.
The book makes a interesting, straightforward read [I finished it in less than an hour] & the techniques described are simple but ones which promise to give significant results both at work & at home. Reading the book evokes a genuine desire to change our behavior & to make apologies, which are more than just words.
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My Word:
Haven't we all made mistakes - at work, home or in relationships - admitted & apologized for them, sometimes willingly or sometimes forcefully? But how many of these apologies were straight from the heart? How many of these served the purpose, made a difference to the problem? The OMM answers & guides us with some simple truths that would benefit most people, help us be a better person. Yes, at times the reader would question the ease with which somethings clicked in the story & cannot help feeling its ''better read than done'' - how many of us would dare to tell our boss he made a mistake!- but I guess some clichés in the story were necessary in order to encourage the reader to understand & implement the recommendations.
And although I am the first to admit my mistakes, there is quite a lot I learnt from this book; the best advice for me was to ''say sorry & mean it too!''
Happy Reading :o)
