Cantilever stomach? A literary genius. Review on Oh Shit, Not Again - Mandar Kokate

I have seen so many wonderful reviews on this fantastic book. Some readers praised the book. Some readers literally blasted this book out of existence. What a wonderful topic then, to write a review on.

I am in a sort of dilemma on how to proceed:

If I were to write a review like Mandar Kokate I will need to include fantastic and curvaceous lines in the review. A few lines will not serve the pornographic tastes of the author - you need the lines to curve sensuously. Otherwise he will just pooh-pooh the review and will move on to better things. Since I do not have a bent mind to see everything through the author's spoilt eye, I cannot write like him. So I will need to write something straight - dunno if the author can make out a sexual innuendo for this word too:-)

I cannot write a totally pessimistic view of this book which I strongly feel like writing. People will call me a pessimist to the core and the fans of the author(wonder if he has any other than his reflection in the mirror) would chide my sense of literature and will ask me to'get lost' since I do not have that wonderful sense of humour which the author has in abundance.

So the dilemma continues - do I please the readers who blasted this book or do I praise the author? Do I pave way for criticism or do I write a review that is totally unbiased? Arguing thus I have arrived at a conclusion - let me write what I feel like. If the author has a cantilever stomach or a perpendicular nose or a myopic outlook on each and every damsel he sees on the road - I dont care. Let me write what I feel like. So here goes.

First I am wondering at where the inspiration came - probably the loo - The book is so full of st that you actually start wondering if the author wrote this while in the loo - that would add a new dimension to his perverted state of mind. Then the question that crops up is who was the inspiration - for that he has not looked beyond the damsels who roam the streets. The author wanted to write a novel on his fantasies - on what a tiger he was in bed and for that he chose to add some new dimensions - here the story is not interspersed with his escapades - its the other way round - to highlight his escapades he weaves a story - non wonder the story is full of st and squalor. if this is classified as a tale of eroticism then God save the meaning of eroticism.

Now for the plot - Is there a plot? You only see characters going in and out of beds - so where is the plot? Is there a hero - Yes there is this ra**st who is keen on laying every chick he sees - a maniac who one would do well to avoid. Is there a heroine - yes, fact is there are too many heroinesand our hero is under the effect of heroin - so heroin and heroine make for a heady mix and yet again you are drawn into primal action.

There are many 4 letter words that symbolize this book. I do not want to list them out. One of them surely is CRAP. The author is full of confidence in his ability to woo women - sad that his skills in bed is not reflected in his writing. There was an SMS that used to circulate in the web - I modify it slightly for this book: The book is ABCDEFGHIJ.

A - Awesome

B - Brilliant

C - Cool

D - Deadly

E - Excellent

F- Fantastic

G - great

H - Honest

IJ - I am joking.

This is the best tribute that I can pay this book.

In an award ceremony, I would have happily given some consolation prize to this author in the hope that he would stop writing. if he wants to s**t then let him do it in the privacy of his home or let him do it in the open - but let him not publicize what he has done - Strong words - but true.

I do not claim to be a master story teller nor do I lay claim to some great publications. But I do know a good book when I read one. This certainly is not good. If you ask me whats wrong with the book then I would say that the book itself is wrong. I can go on blasting this book. but let me stop here.

As the saying goes, " A bad book is one that not only torments the present generation, but also the future generations to come".

Dear Author, please do not even write a book next. Else create characters who are in class II or III and do not know the difference between a cantilever stomach and a rotund tummy.

I lost INR 100 on this book. This shng is costly:-)