NAFRATTEIN- MY SAD AND ETERNAL LOVE STORY
- Note: My review is in Roman Hindi and I'm sure you will enjoy.
Me film dekhne gaya uska naam tha mohabbatein- cinema me film ko dekhte dekhte mein gaane lagaa, - hum ko yaha se chudvalo, kohi he to hum ko bachaalo, hum akele roh na jaaya, beja fryyyyy ho na jaaya, aajaao pagal khana leejaaaaao.
Film kharab thi, shahrukh bhi, lekin beech mein product advertisements kamal khi thi. va kya advertisement thi, shahrukh ke specs dekhe mujhe pata chala ke ?I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS?. Aur ek 60 sal ke bhudde ki tara kapre pehna to aaj kal style hota hai shahrukh ki tara. Lekin such much shahrukh ki dialogues ke baad, me pyar ka deewana ban gayaa, mujhe pyaar se pyaar hogayya, mein jaan gaya ke prem kya cheez hai.
Bich mein film main, shahrukh teen gadho ko advice deh raha tha, ?jao tumhari laksh ki taraf, jise tum pyar karte ho, vohi tumhara lakshe hai, vaha gate ki taraf tumhara pyar khara hai, jao us ki taraf?. Mujhe lag raha tha ke shahrukh mujhe keh raha hai, such mooch ladki ayee popcorn ke saath mere row mai sirf 4 seat ki durya. Mene uski taraf dekha, mera dil dhadka, kuch kuch hone laga, pehli nazar mein mujhe pyar ho gaya, shahrukh ne kaha jao apne lakshya ki taraf, mein uta tayaar hogaya,
SHAHRUKH: tumhare bich jo deewar he usse toor de.
humhari bich 4 seat thi, lekin raasta mushkil tha, do mote log mere bich me bete the, mein rone loga.
ME:(crying) Yeh nah mumkin shahrukh, mein nahi karsakta
SHAHRUKH: to-tttt-ttotoo phir tu pyar ke lllayak nahi, pyar use kehte, jiskil ye insane sari hadde par kar sak ta, na mumkin ko mumkin karta hai, agar tum usse sacha pyar karte ho to jao uski oor.
Mein utha (eye of the tiger music) me dora, mota uta, raasta rok liya,
MOTE: tum cinema ke usool nahi toor sokte, hum tumme kamyaab nahi hone donge
ME:haaraaaaamzaaaaade ek baat kan kol kar soon le, shahrukh ne kaha hein mujhe tho mein apni premika ke pas jahraha hoo, chahe bhi mujhe apni chadi ki supply rokni ho, mujhe koi nahi rok sakta. YAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Jung ki laray hooi, usne mujhe kuchal dalla, ,moti bhi ayi chapal ke saath. mena himmat nahi hari, mene shahrukh ko pukarra
ME: abe shahrukh, meri madad kar!!!!
SHAHRUKH: abhe kkk-kkkkya he yaar dikta nahin, mein meri dead girlfriend ki aur meri dukhbhari prem lila ki katha sunaa raha hoo.
Shahrukh ne madad nahi ki, lekin mere pyar ne mujhe aur himmat di. Mene mote ki popcorn leli aur kahaa.
ME: khabar daar, agar tumese kohi hila, to mein yeh popcorn khajoonga
MOTE: tum esa nahi kar sakte, nahi kar sakte bhagwan kil ye isSe choor do,
ME:mwaaahahahah, ab mein isse nahi choruga, hehehehe, mene popcorn pekh di, voh popcorn ke picche baghe, mein apni lakshya ki taraf gaya, vaha pocha, mena kaha shahrukh ab mein kya karu,
SHAHRUKH: apne pyaar ka izhaar kar,
mene pyar ka izhaar kiya, usne meri taraf dekha, mene uski taraf, aankho me annkhe dali (freeze frame) MUSIC(kuch kuch hota hain)
SHAHRUKH: apna hath badaao,mene hath badaaya, usne apna haath badaaya, mene per par rakha, lekin usne ek PATAAAAAAAAAK de kar apna haath mere gal par lagaaya, shahrukh ki tora rone lagaa, aur kahaa ?
ME:shahhrukh tu kitna gatia idea dehta hai yaar.?
SHAHRUKH: aree-eehehe yaaaar per par kyu hath rakha, breasts par kyu nahi rakha, mujshe kuch sikh na, har film mein romantic role hi kar ta hoo, mujhe pata he kkk-kkese chalta hain.
Us din se muje pata chala ke pyar kya chiz hoti hain, sab ko deewana kar ti hain, lekin ek thapar se gal ko lal kar dehti hain. Us din ke baad mene kabhi pyar nahi kiyaa.
Back to real life where I finished telling this sad story to my students in horny boys institution.
STUDENTS: (CRYING) sir aapki kahaani kitne dukh bhari hain.
ME: (started playing violin) pyar kabhi mat karna, voh esi chiz hai joh hamme paagal kardegi, shahrukh ki acting ki tara. Jo thapad mene khahi he vo kal tumme na lagjaye, isli pyar mat karna dosto lekin horny zurur rehna, yeh meri zindagi ka usool hai.
STUDENT; Lekin sir mujshe bot bari galti ho gaya. MUJHA PYAR HOGAAYA!!!
ME: KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
STUDENT: sir, mein kya karu usse pehli baar dekha to pyar hogaya, jis tara aapko hua mujhe bhi huaaa!!!! uske dekh ke mera dil dhadak ne laga, kuch kuch hona laga, mujhe pyar hogaya sir!!!!!! ha pyar!!!!!
ME: NAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN.. YEH NAHIN HOSAKTA(CRYING) KYU KIYA KYUUUU!!! (MUSIC; KABHI KUSHI KABHI GAM)
PRINCIPAL(MR LOVA LOVA): mwahahahahahah!!!! tu shart har gaya, me jitgaya,
mere institution mein mere ladko ko nafrat karna sikha raha tha aur chupke chupke usse FREE gay porn dehra ha tha. tu shart har gaaya, mene kaha tha na pyar hi sab kuch hota hai. mwahahahah!!! nikal mere 10 rupay.
me: nahiiiiiiiiin!!!!
STUDENT: lekin sir, technechly shart me aapne kaha tha ke shart aap tab jeet jayeenge jab hummese koi pyar karrega ladki se, lekin mein ladke se pyar karta hu.
PRINCIPAL: NAHIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!! MERE SCHOOL MEIN CHICHORAAAAA!!!
ME: kisse se pyar karte ho tum.
STUDENT: sir aapse. (DUM DUM dum)
PRINCIPAL: NAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!(principal has heart attack and dies)
I walked up to him, we were face to face(some idiot palying violin in the background)
STUDENT: I love u sir.
i was going to do somethin I never thought I would do.
then came a familiar sound PATAAAAAAAK!!!!
STUDENT: sir thapar kyu?
ME: Kaha tha na, pyar mat karna.
THE END
P.S I sent this story to yash chopra, its been approved, he's makinge film on it right now, he said it can be a good sequel to mohabbatein, in fact even much better than mohaabbatein. WOOOOOWWWW!!!
SO WATCH OUT
NAFFRATEIN - COMING TO CINEMAS NEAR YOU.
STARRING: me, popcorn girl, mota and moti, horny principal, gay student.
plus a special appearance from shahrukh khan as a transexual.
WARNING - the film may be unsuitable for straight people, as their is frequent exposure to gay on gay action(srk involved in those scenes)
