May 18, 2001 01:18 AM
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A humorous look into Mississippi.
Tractor tires, refrigerators, toilets, truck body parts, bathtubs. What do these items have in common? The answer is simple. You will probably find at least one of these items proudly displayed in any southerner's yard! Most are used for planters. A true southerner never sees a piece of junk for what it is, only if it has future use as a planter.
The first step is to find the junk........er..... treasures. There are several place to look, including, but not limited to: junkyards, your neighbors backyard, yard sales, abandoned houses, and the river bank that runs directly underneath a county bridge. Some of the items you should be on the lookout for are:
Tractor tires: These have a variety of uses, and are liable to pop up anywhere! Though I have seen them used as bumpers, you are more likely to find them in the yard being used as planters for a flower garden or placed around tree seedlings to prevent your husband from running over them with the lawnmower. I have also seen them half buried in the ground, with just the top half sticking out, creating an entrance to the driveway. These are usually painted white so as not to look quite so ''trashy''! The white tires are found in only the classiest yards. Po' folks just use them black.
Refrigerators: There are two main uses for discarded refrigerators. One is to remove the door, and lay it on the ground, open side up. Fill it full of water, put an aerator in it, and you have a way to keep your minnows alive until its time to go fishin'. You should be proud of your minnow keeper, and show it proudly in your front yard where everyone can envy it!
My father uses the old fashioned, steel refrigerators to make smoker cookers. In his defense, I have to say, they work great, and he can never find enough refrigerators to meet all of the requests he has to make them!
Frigidaires make great planters as well! Position it the same way you do as for the minnow tub, only instead of filling it with water, fill it with dirt and plant your tomato plants in it. If you really want to show off, paint it your favorite color. All the neighbors will be green with envy!
Pick-up truck body parts: Detach the bed of the truck from the cab, put a trailer hitch on it (only if it is a Northerner's truck, a Southerner's will already have this) and you have a great ''hauling'' trailer! This is especially useful for hauling old refrigerators and tractor tires. Another use: In the winter, the hood off of a truck makes a great sled! Attach it to the back of your truck with a chain, and have someone pull you across the ice. NOTE Please make sure your life insurance policy is up-to-date before attempting this. And don't forget the hubcaps! They make great dogfood bowls!
I have also seen the following items recycled:
Commodes and bathtubs: You guessed it, flower planters. I pass a house on the way home from work that has a birdbath in the front yard, and on either side of it, a commode filled with flowers.
School buses: Used as storage buildings. However, these are only usable if the outside is devoid of any and all paint, and is on 4 flat tires. Parking these in the front yard is essential!
Readers' Digest Magazines: Collect about 12, fold the pages, glue, spraypaint, and you have a lampshade that would make Martha Stewart turn green with envy!
Clorox Jugs: Planters (of course!) and bird feeders.
Beer and soda cans: Cut out and strung together with yarn to make hats (Don't ask)
This is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. The next time you are driving around in the South, and especially the Mississippi Delta, I encourage you to take a closer look around you. You might just be surprised at what you see!
Hey! Is that a urinal over there? I bet that would make a great planter!
