When Gravel Flies. Review on Learning to Drive

*A little something different for you!  Hope you enjoy!

Learning to Drive. Southern Style!

If you are planning on visiting or moving to the Mississippi Delta, the way we drive and the conditions of the roads is something that you should be made aware of, and fully prepared for, or not only will you be in for quite a culture shock, you may be in a accident!

To begin with, All Deltas drive about 20 miles per hour right down the middle of the road.  This is NOT because we dont' know how to drive, but is because most of us were taught to drive on John Deere tractors, and that is the proper way to drive on of those.  Another important thing to remember is that a green light does not mean stop.  Quite the contrary, it means to floor it so you can get through it before the light turns red.  If you do happen to run the redlight, or a stop sign, don't worry! It's perfectly legal as long as you simply stop twice at the next one.

When receiving directions to someone's house, do not expect to hear street names and house numbers.  Instead, expect to hear any or all of the following:

'Turn off the paved road.'

'Hang a right by the fruit stand.'

'Go down about three miles and turn right by Old Man Hatcher's house.'

'Drive past where Mrs. Jennings used to live.'

'It's the last trailer on the left.'

and the infamous'you can't get there from here.'

The potholes here are world famous for both their size and their ability to remove a muffler from a 4 x 4 in two seconds flat.  They are to be avoided at all costs!  Take the ditch if necessary.  It will be easier to pull your vehicle from the ditch than to reattach your head to your shoulders.

If the unfortunate happens, and you find yourself stranded on the side of the road, do not panic!  Two very large men in a pick-up truck will be along shortly to come to your aid.  They will have every possible tool necessary to help you, including jumper cables, a tow chain, a jack, oil, and a six pack of beer for them.  Do not attempt to assist them, or offer them any money for their help.  This is what they live for!

If you have thoroughly read all of the above information, you have enough knowledge for a safe trip to the Delta.  But button your seatbelt! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!