Bhagwaan ke Liye Mujhe Chhodh Do. Review on Laagi Tujhse Lagan

Laagi Tujhse Lagan (LTL) is a serial (rapist ?) aired at 9.30 pm on weekdays on Colors. Its the story of Nakusha (Mahi Vij), a young girl from the slums of Mumbai. Her family like many others in the area, works mainly as maidservants to earn a living. She has an ugly face and is despised by all and sundry. Her fortunes take a turn when she saves the life of Dutta Rao Patil (Mishal Raheja), a gangster, popularly known as Bhau. Her family is taken in by Bhau as domestic help. What unfolds next is unending tears & drama. Do I hear the ladies slurrrp ?

The serial promises many a treat to the viewer including the cinematographically pathbreaking technologies like SSMT (Super Slow Motion Technology), SOS (Sizzlers On Screen) and the AAP (All Angle Panning). In addition true to the Colors channel philosophy, the serial has been certified environment friendly, animal friendly and plant friendly. It may not be as human friendly but we'll let that pass. Humans are last on all priority list anyways.

Now if you are ready, I'll take you on a mindshattering ride through an episode of LTL (the one on May 11 I think) which I had the misfortune of watching. Bhau, family and friends are gathered at his residence to solemnise his marriage. The bride goes missing and Naku is being held responsible.

"Sahib, she can never betray you. She has always prayed for you", says Naku's mom pointing to Naku.

Bhau looks on incredulously. Naku is crying. Pan to Dutta's mother. She looks concerned. Pan to Naku's mother, she looks even more concerned. Pan to Leelavati. She is happy and smiling mischievously. Pan to Kalavati. She is even more happy and is smiling even more mischievously.

"Yeh dua mangegi tumhare liye ?", shouts Kalavati, "She has betrayed your trust". "Bas aur nahin", says Bhau. He slowly raises his pistol and aims at Nakusha.

"Nahin bhau", shouts Naku's mom "Yeh tumse pyar karti hai !!" Camera slowly zooms on Bhau. Every expression on Bhau's face is captured in fine detail. His ears twitch, his nostrils flare, his lips tremble, his eyes glare. Bhau lowers pistol. Exactly the same way he had raised it !

Kalavati hammers in "So you did it for love ? Did you ?". "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror ?", Leelavati joins in, not to be left behind. "Bas !!" says Bhau. The screen sizzles in white and Golden. Bhau raises his pistol for the second time and aims at Naku. The pistol is shown from all directions. You cant miss it. Make no mistake. This is indeed a Pistol ! And a jet black one at that !

"Keh do ki yeh jhooth hai..." Bhau murmurs. Tears are rolling down Nakusha's eyes. She pulls the gun closer to her temple. Camera pans from all directions. Bhau heaves. He stares. Then he puts the pistol down again. Bhau turns in slow motion and is now walking with the kinda swagger only Travolta can. He looks menacing. He goes to an earthen pot lying nearby. The director seems to remind us that this is a eco friendly set and no animals/plants are harmed in the shoots. Bhau kicks with the strength of Maradona and the pot is smashed to pieces.

Bhau returns and cocks the pistlol at Naku for the 3rd time. He then fires in air and down comes the chandelier. Incessant panning on everyone and everything from all directions. Naku stares as Bhau finally leaves. Or does he ?

Pan to Nakusha. Tears have now transgressed the cheekbones and are now threatening to fall on to the floor. "Main dhokebaaz nahin hoon sahab. Mujhe jaane do. Main sahab ko Samjhayegi", shouts Naku. Bhau in now walking in super slow motion with swagger equal to three Travoltas. He is inside his room by now and he hears a flasback of disturbing voices. He cant bear it. He smashes a table, then a black vase, then a colourful vase. A pair of white vases too. He digs into the Rangoli like Pravin Amre used to dig into his crease.

Cut to Kala who has started slapping Naku - "Kya samjayegi ? Kya samjhayegi tu haan ?"

Meanwhile Bhau's eyes fall on the large frame hanging on the wall showing Naku. He stares at photo like a mad bull. His pupils dilate. Then they contract. These are all telltale signs of a charge. And charge it is !In slow motion he stretches his hands to pick up a vase, ala Jonty Rhodes. He then smashes the frame with it. He smashes it again. Not satisfied he throws the frame on the floor and starts shooting at it madly.

Thankfully, the director decides to spare us at this juncture and the episode ends here as credits start to roll in.

Will Bhau aim the pistol for the fourth time at Naku in the next episode ? Or will he flash a knife ? Will Naku's tears fall on the ground or will they be intercepted midway ? To know the answer to these questions and many others that your fertile mind would have thrown, watch LTL.

I was felt extremely awkward laughing when everyone else was crying until I learnt that LTL had been produced by Paresh Rawal. Now I understood where the sense of humour came from :-P Jokes apart, I find the serial a big slap on human intelligence but I suppose, India being a free country, there will always be people who'll love the Super Slow Motion, etc technologies, ecofriendly (/human unfriendly) serials, the Cherry shoe polish laden Nakusha's body and the 3 Travolta swaggers.

And ah, remember KroorSingh from Chandrakanta. He finally has some competition in the "Most Bizzarre Eyebrows" category. If he had the perfect cactus eyebrows, our Naku has the perfect sinusoidal wave. So its not Yakkkkuuuu anymore !! Its Nakkkkuuuu :-P