Is Salman really Bollywood's "Aladdin's Genie" . Review on Kick

Next time Salman Khan acts, they better write down a$1000 check for him, pre-release. Come-on B-Town representatives, its high-time we owe this guy a precedent gift-hamper. Whereas Amir, Shah Rukh, Hrithik, Ranbir and a generation of movie stars improvises greatly; Salman just "shows-up" and the film springs billions at the box-office. How ironical? And how-so egotistical!

Looking at his personality and the common starstruck syndromes seen in people; its hard-pressing not to overlook his near demigod-like impact in a film's flimsy material. I doubt how many stars at present have it in them to leap above the material and literally smash the ball, out of the park.

I'm not referring to Satellite value, that thing is more fuzzy and fashionable in the south but not north. But. The way he turns lousy entertainments into astronomical box-office numbers, year after year, time after time, season after season is just unbelievable! Just bewildering for me!

His latest Eid-release KICK, is dipped and anointed in the typical gung-ho Salman Khan coffer. Is that a good thing? Well, why do you care? You'd heard the mosque swear a hundred or maybe even, thousand, times before haven't you? Is that a good thing Father? Yes, my Son. You can't prevent the inevitable. Its all in God's hands. He is the ultimatum and you have to obey. No choice, sorry peep!

Another Eid-Release, another Salman khan film and another blockbuster in the making. You couldn't deny that. And neither could you deny the fact that the film has all its problems(script) all the pros(Salman, glossy stunts, good looking women) and all the retrogrades, (running-time) nicely woven-in.The film is a remake of the Telungu hit of the same name and "reiterates" the story of a cool thief parachuting and steamrolling the whole of . Well, Salman Khan genre. Khan, in addition to all his Aladdin-laden antics, wears a bodey-tight suit and spacewalks through railroads defying gravity and what have you?

He's in his pomp here, like a manic depressive outlaw turned into a cool looking gaming caricature or something, who finds guilty pleasure in taking nerdy revenge on a near, playstation-like material.The less said about the film, the better. Like Playstation games, it comes and goes in a whimper and does all the things a Salman Khan film have come to do as a man-date, except for the Cruiseque bungee-jumps from a 100 ft" or was it 500? Tall edifice and the outrageous cling on his co-star Jacqueline Fernandez's skirt in an act of sheer, unabashed, eroticism.

Only Salman could do that and no-other!** you might hear a guy creaming it from the back of the theater combined with big applauds from the front. And still you can't deny the nuance in that monologue.

For, if somebody else had done it? He might as well pay penalties for wardrobe malfunctioning and, yes, be a poster boy in the Page-3 news.

Sajid Nadiadwala's direction is uneven and the pacing of the film takes at least an hour or so to get moving. And Himesh Reshammiyah's soundtrack have some hummable tracks. That's about it not to mention the over-imposing Salman Khan factor off-course.With KICK bound to break all box-office records, which I'm sure it would, I might as well throw the trivia-dice to your court - Is Salman Khan really Bollywood's version of "Aladdin's Genie."?

The kind of guy who is full of live-wire antics and humor at every step of the way? The kind of guy who could make any movie a success? The kind of guy who's as handsome and charming as it can get? The kind of guy who'd popped out of his mother's tomb with immortal powers and exercises self-control, like a boss?

The choice is yours. If you love Salman the star, then this Kick, for the time being would suffice to satisfy. If not? Then better it is you go play, ping-pong, eat pot-purri and watch Brazil vs Germany, in your boxers.

Lets embrace the byproducts without hesitance. Salman carried me all the way through, and the film, moving on the monitor, just obediently follows him like a loyal servant. Its not as good a performance as his Chulbul Pandey in Dabangg was. But try telling that to any loyal Salman fan and face the consequences.(Would get a kick on your face!)

And my explanation of not mentioning a heck of a thing about the plot, the script, the technical or any other thing in the movie KICK? Wee, wee. I'm just too tired and bored doing that. After all its the Salman Khan, genre. There's no logic, only laid-back, senseless entertainment.Like he himself, self-depreciates humorlessly - "Mere baare mein itna mat sochna. Dil mein aata hoon, samajh mein nahin.”

Kick is just as redundant as the Salman-laden references I've levied in this review. Want a change? check out for Nawazuddin Siddiqui. He's another talent. This quirky, menacing act of his might get Anurag Kashyap interested in future projects.

My rating? 3 out of 5. Just about:):)