Obscene, offensive and simply ridiculous!. Review on Kambakkht Ishq

This has to be the most sexually frustrated and sexually aggressive movie that I have ever seen and the sad part is that a lot of people were actually enjoying this crap of a movie and something even more sad is thatI actually went to see this movie!!!... The latter fact made me feel guilty like hell while I was watching the movie; the fact that I helped this movie`s producers/distributors etc. to increase their revenue by some 600 rupees by buying its tickets! The worse part is that I had already sensed from the promos that it`s gonna be a crap.. still, I don`t know why I went ahead and bought the tickets!!!

Alright, now let`s put me aside and talk about the 'MOVIE' (?!?)itself.It`s about a Hollywood stunt man Viraj (Akshay Kumar) who is the man behind all those amazing action scenes filmed on Brandon Routh, Sylvester Stallone, etc. in their movies. His personal life is nothing much to write home about...he`s simply a womanizer and everyday he sleeps with a new woman and the next day treats her like dirt...sorry, actually like a 'bi*ch'.

On the other hand is our heroine, Simrita aka Bebo (Kareena Kapoor) an aspiring surgeon (AHA...WHAT?!?)and a part time model. She believes that 'men are interested in only one thing', namely sex and that they should be kept at a distance...the reason?

The poor girl`s dad was a womanizer and so was her brother-in-law (yet we don`t feel sorry for her)...so, the stunt man meets this sex-bomb struggling surgeon...they fight, they abuse each other, they kiss each other aggressively and even dance and sing...yet they hate each other. Well, one fine day, Bebo is operating Viraj who is admitted to the hospital where she works as her patient and unfortunately while carrying out the operation Bebo leaves her watch which chants OM MANGALAM after every one hour, in Viraj`s stomach. To avoid being dismissed from her medical practice on the grounds of negligence, she flirts with Viraj and seduces him so that she canoperate him again and take out the watch from his stomach...while Bebo is seducing him, Viraj actually falls in love with her...

*WHAT MAKES IT SUCH A PATHETIC FIILM:

-The same old clichéd plot...boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they fightand eventually fall in love...also Kareena Kapoor`s scenes with heron-screen sister and aunt (played by Kirron Kher) seem to be straight out of some cheap Star Plus soap opera...so what did the filmmakers doto add some difference to such a cliched, typical plot? They took themovie to Hollywood, added some Hollywood actors in it, added some sex jokes in it, added vulgar langauage and vulgar scenes in it to givesome new flavour to the same old tried and tested script.

-VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO WOMEN: So, the Censor Board got a shockwhen it heard Akshay Kumar saying in the promo that 'women are good for only thing'...well, as you know, that was just a trailer...there is much more in the movie...in his very first scene with Kareena, Akshay Kumar forcibly and aggressively kisses Kareena Kapoor in the church andcalls her a bich shortly afterwards...and before his first scene with Kareena...he mercilessly throws two American girls out of his car...he gets himself massaged by a woman whom he treats like sht and casually gets into bed with any angrez girl he looks at!

-OBSCENITY AND VULGARITY: There are a number of vulgar, double meaning jokes in the movie...Akshay`s friend mistakenly consumes Viagra pills and gets hony at Aftab and Amrita`s wedding party...Akshay tells Aftab to give his wife a 'toy' to play with...a dangerous looking, black woman at the airport examines Akshay Kumar`s anus to search for drugs and Akshay comes out telling that 'ashole is his problem'...then there`s this deaf doctor played by Boman Irani who doesn`t hear words correctly and guess what...even he interprets normal words as sexual words, for instance, he thinks that Akshay is asking for pleasure rather than talking aboutpressure and guess what??? In the 'Bebo' song, Kareena gets down on her knees and we see a close up of Akshay Kumar breathing heavily (blow*ob I see!) And it`s not only these suggestive scenes...there are a number of unwanted and unnecessary smooches between the lead couple (they have actually given Mallika Sherawat`s 17 smooches a run for their money) and of course women wearing the skimpiest of clothes everywhere...the goris are either wearing thongs or bikinis or at least bikini tops and they`re behaving like desperados who are dying for going to bed with Akshay Kumar and even Amrita Arora (who is by the way, shown as a simple, innocent girl) wears highly suggestive and revealing costumes(actually, swimming costumes) and then there`s Kareena of course, wearing dangerously short skirts and the lowest neckline any actress has worn in recent times

-Unwanted emotional scenes: So, I have already discussed how our 'hero' treates women in this movie...but then the scriptwriter suddenly attempts to evoke sympathy for him towards the end of the movie, when Aftab tells Kareena that he never had sex with her and emphasizing his honesty (?)...and of course, there is Kirron Kher, as Kareena`s aunt who towards the end of the film, breaks down into tears and tellsKareena about her mother and her wish to get Kareena married and guess what? You don`t even feel like crying in that so called 'emotional scene'...it was so dam cliched

-Loopholes in the plot, most notably the following two; (1)Sylvester Stallone is shown as a top Hollywood actor.In the end he comes to Kareena`s rescue when she is being harassed by some black men.So, what was a top Hollywood actor exactly doing in that unknown street? Also, if he can fight so well himself, as he does so when he helps Kareena, then why does he need Akshay Kumar to do his stunts, ashe states at the award ceremony? (2) Secondly, Denise Richards is shown as a famous filmstar (which she really isn`t now)...I didn`t understand why she was getting so damn desperate to get married to a stuntman while the stuntman wasn`t even genuinely interested in her?

-B-grade actors will go unemployed: Poor Payal Rohatgis and Sherlyn Chopras of Bollywood will find themselves unemployed because this film shows that Bollywood`s top stars are ready to do cheap, vulgar movies...so who needs these starlets when Kareena Kapoor herselfis ready to go further than them in terms of body exposure and vulgarity?

PLUS POINTS, IF ANY???

I got to see a glimpse of my favourite Hollywood actresses, Kate Winslet (I simply love her) and Julia Roberts taken from an award function recording and added into this movie.

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