Its a Perfect Li(f)e !!. Review on Jeena Isika Naam Hai

Good Afternoon Everybody!

I am either an actor/singer/film-maker/lyric writer etc or anyone else connected with movie making and have been invited to feature in the celebrity life documentation show Jeena Isika Naam Hai on Zee TV.

I jump on it as the perfect opportunity to present the viewers a white-washed view of my personality, when various people connected with my life praise me to the skies. This show especially helps if I have a crucial film release around the corner. So there!

We begin with a collage from my early life which appears on the screen and we go “aww where did you get these pics from?”, laugh out loud, act surprised and embarrassed.

Next, my parents come and sing hosannas about how I am the ideal son. Maamis, chachis, phoophis, grannies, each appear one by one and validate what my parents say, while I not so discretely dab away some glycerin from my eyes. My near and far relations narrate various touching anecdotes from my life (written by a bad scriptwriter) that are meant to disarm you, or otherwise feed you with the knowledge that I have a deity-like personality, am in the possession of a loving, calm, generous, giving nature, how I respect my elders and love my siblings.

My teachers from an old school I claim to have attended appear on screen and take me down the memory lane while saying, “Remember! This is your school building”, “ Remember this bench you sat to draw some porn on?” (kindly ignore that–they would never admit to such things on this show), “This used to be your playground.”. By now, I need more glycerin. Of course it goes without saying that I have been the model student, super intelligent in academics, an all-rounder in sports, and a champ in any extra-curricular activity – my teachers and princis would vouch for it while saying, “We are all so proud of you, you really have made this school ka naam roshan!!”

Next in line are my lackeys, sorry friends. Before they appear on camera, I had threatened them with dire consequences if they forget to certify how I am the ultimate yaaron ka yaar and also mention how I would put them before anything else in the world. When they say that, I go, “ Awww!! You guys are so sweet!” and give them some bear hugs now and then.

You will note that the set is glitzy yet appealing, the background score suits fine, the anchor Farooque Shaikh is actually more interesting than us guests, with his mischievous quips and self-deprecatory humor. Suresh Oberoi had hosted a few episodes and needed a laxative.

My wife enters to say that I’m even better than Maryaada Purshottam Raam, then sits down to sulk in a corner and dazzles some smiles when the camera focuses on her. I even fuss about my kids to show that I’m the perfect father too.

Towards the end, people I connected with during work all cant seem to believe that they had the auspicious luck to be associated with me. That’s what they all convey here in person, or when they appear on screen for an AV message, “Ooh, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there in person, in this show where you are being so honored. But it was always a pleasure working with you & yak yak & blah blah & kiss kiss” In essence, I get a further quality mark that I am a thorough professional, set my colleagues at ease, am the most amiable person to work with, excel in my craft and so on.

Thus, I could never go wrong, never erred, have led a saccharine priestly existence, am Mr. Goody Two Shoes, the cynosure of mankind, watch me live the Perfect Li(f)e on Jeena Isika Naam Hai! Nevertheless you can have fun watching me pretend, we strive to amuse!

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