Dec 27, 2003 01:37 PM
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(Updated Dec 27, 2003 01:37 PM)
The Situation
After much thought and self-searching, I decided to go watch the Boxing Day test with my dad instead of going Boxing Day Specials shopping with my mum. This I think was the correct decision as dad, my sister and I returned home elated at India’s brilliant opening day batting session, and my mother came home looking tired and disheveled after her shopping spree where she would inevitably have to wrestle with 1000’s of others for post Xmas bargains.
The Day
Was a beautiful overcast morning, around 23 degrees The day started of well for us as we got a great parking spot and scored some excellent seats. I went to receive my cousin at the gate and informed him India had won the toss and elected to bat. He in turn informed me that that was terrible news and India would be all out 200. I informed him that he was a pessimist and I had no faith in him.
While returning to my seat, I was stopped by a reporter and a cameraman. The reporter notified me that she was from the ABC which is a station watched only by the intellectuals in our society. I thought quickly and came to the conclusion that none of my friends are intellectuals and none would watch the ABC news. With this in mind I agreed to be interviewed. That night I saw my cheesy grin on the TV screen, trying desperately to pretend I had at least some idea of what I was talking about. I fear I failed miserably.
The Game
I wont go into the details of the game as I’m sure you were all glued to your screens. Besides, when considering I was actually there, I honestly didn’t see much of the cricket. If I wanted to see cricket, I would have stayed at home and watch the televised coverage from the comfort of my couch, but by going to the cricket, I was substituting watching the game for a brilliant, fun and lively atmosphere.
Ever watched a televised coverage and you can’t for the life of you work out the background noise. Cheering and booing starting at sporadic moments. Flags waving hysterically for no apparent reason. Well, I can assure that in 9/10 occasions, these interruptions have nothing to do with the match itself. It’s all to do with the fun created by the crowds for their own entertainment.
The Barmy Army
Large bunch of Australians, mostly male who sport green and gold shirts and would rather die then be seen without a glass of beer in their hand at all moments of the game. They shout, chant and jeer with united enthusiasm. As the day progresses, shirts are removed to reveal a proud beer belly or a scrawny torso which eventually becomes red as the sun gets higher in the sky. A generally friendly bunch, they shout their mates drinks and cram meat pies into their mouths at lunch.
The Swami Army
Much the same as the Barmy Army, except substitute the Australians for Indians, add a few more females to the equation, the bellies are generally brown and they become darker, they wear sky blue with the Indian flag draped over their shoulders and instead of eating meat pies, they eat pre-prepared chappatis brought from home. You generally find about 4 or 5 different Swami Armies across the ground, each of them convinced they are the official Swami Army. Each Swami Army generally represents an Indian state or territory with the Malayali Swami Army, the Bengali Swami Army …etc
The Barmy Army Vs The Swami Army
These were I think the best part of our little expedition to the MCG. When the match began, the Indian crowds sang the national anthem of India with gusto and flourish. When the Australian anthem was sung, the Ausies did their best to hum along to the tune (it is widely known that only a limited number of Australians know more than the opening lines of their anthem), however they made up for it in the end with a loud rendition of Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi!
As the game progressed, there was a very loud chanting competition between the Swamis and the Barmys. As each tried to out do each other, the competition became more aggressive. Eventually different Swami Armies from across the ground joined in and the Barmys were forced to admit defeat. I think this little incident proves that there really is unity within diversity in all Indians.
A man dressed up as Swami and sporting a massive Indian flag managed to infiltrate the Barmy camp. This led to an enormous uproar and the Swami was chased out of there while all Aussies got together and chanted You are a wanker! several times. The Swamis were roused and shouted the same reply to the Australians. The Barmys now turned their attack on Swamis who coolly sat back and pointed to the scoreboard that read 0-115. The Barmys had no response to that and started sulking.
I missed seeing Dravid go out as I, like all the other people in my section of the crowd was busy watching a beer sculling (means drinking beer really fast in one go) competition between the Swamis and the Barmys. We were all shouting Scull! Scull! Scull! When we heard the entire crowd erupt, looking up, we saw Dravid leave the field with his head bowed. This set the Barmys going again as they were a little sheepish after losing the sculling competition.
There were a few physical scuffles between the Indians and Australians, but on the whole, the war between the Swamis and the Barmys was good-natured and everyone had a lot of fun.
Beach Balls and Inflated Condoms
A beach ball or an inflated condom would be thrown in the crowd by some ordinary cricket watcher. If it came near you, you would punch it hard, away from cricket field, officials and the policeman, while making sure the ball never reached the ground. Inevitably the police would eventually get hold of the ball and the Barmy and Swami Army would join forces to chant Give us our ball back… or condom if it were the case. When this form of sweet talk failed to work, the Barmys and Swamis were united in their deafening chant of You are a wanker!
Some memorable moments
-> A sadargee sporting a bright orange turban walked past followed by two shirtless Vikings.
-> When Tandulkar went out, I distinctly remember an inflated condom float past my field of vision. I think it’s symbolic…but of what?
-> A man dressed up as a Swami was escorted off the ground for being drunk and disorderly.
-> 4 men dressed up as Teletubbies (a popular young children’s program with odd looking figures dressed up in red, green, blue and yellow) were drinking excessively.
-> The disappointment of the girls behind me when they found out the good-looking Pathan was not playing in this test.
-> A really enjoyable time.
