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I wanna Die
May 18, 2002 05:00 PM 7438 Views
(Updated May 18, 2002 05:00 PM)

*Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter.


Sermons and soda water the day after *


Lord Byron(1788 - 1824)


With everyone and his aunty writing reviews on the sanity of Pubs staying open beyond 11 pm, no one has given any thought to what happens to the poor chap when he gets up in the morning, rip roaring drunk. Well, it has fallen on my broad (with emphasis on broad) shoulders to carry this weight of society and, for once, write a review which is of some help to people.


The villain of the piece indubitably, is Saccharomyces cerevisiae. Now SC is no ordinary fungi. No sir. This gentleman is the chap that gives birth to the liquid which, in turn, gives you a gentle reminder of your excesses the night before, the ungrateful #$%$#@&. Now most of us have had some form of God’s punishment visited the morning after * [or, as Yeats said, ‘twas the morn’ after’ *]


There are various ‘cures’ for treating hangovers, and I shall educate you in some of the proven ones. What are my credentials, you ask? Well, I live in Australia, and people here don’t drink water, they exist on Beer and Wine, with Vodka as a side drink. There is no escaping drinking in the land of Oz. Bottle shops are as common as panwaris [paanwallahs…the term defies English translation] are in India. Generally, I limit myself to 2 beers, or 2 vodkas. However, I do go overboard once a while in Nightclubs:-)  [ma, I sincerely hope you are not reading this.if you are, then this is just a hypothetical situation]


What follows in the morning is sheer torture. The first time it happened, it was as if I had died and gone to hell. The wakening was a grim re-acquaintance with the conscious world. My eyes felt as if they were being pulled in two different directions. I felt like I had a second heartbeat in my head. My body lost it’s the ability to generate saliva, and my tongue suffocated me. I would have cried, but that would take the last of the moisture left in my body. Death seemed pretty good. If I sit quietly now and think I can recall this exquisite horror.


My flatmate suggested I drink lots of water. Well, I tried it, but I don’t recommend this. You see, when you drink so much water, it necessitates frequent trips to the loo, and when you are suffering from hangovers, even the slightest movement causes something inside you to die. Further, frequent visits to the bathroom lead to dehydration and loss of essential ions and minerals.


Jess then read up some stuff on the Internet and she suggested I try NAC the next time I planned to get drunk. Now NAC is N-acetyl-cysteine [gawd.what a mouthful.my hands shook while typing this], and it is an amino acid supplement. We get NAC in tablet form here and most good chemists should stock it. This is an essential ingredient in Berocca. Now Berocca is a vitamin tablet and claims to alleviate nausea and the feeling of intense fatigue, which normally accompanies hangovers. One of my friend tried Berocca, but says it does not work all the time[yeah, he is a certified next-day-I-will-have-hangover types]


Some info on NAC.it mops up chemicals in our body called free radicals. These nasty things are created as enzymes from alcohol break down in our liver. Therefore, I would advice you to go to your local chemist, and ask for prescriptions, which contain NAC. Hangovers are the result of alcohol’s toxicity. Alcohol is metabolized in a multi-step process into various metabolites which have unique biochemical effects of their own. The first step in this process is the conversion of alcohol to acetaldehyde. Acetaldehyde must be converted into acetic acid, which is what NAC does. Thiamine(vitamin B-1) and lipoic(thioctic) acid are key sulphur-containing nutrients that may be depleted by alcohol and/or may help with acetaldehyde detoxification.


These are found in sugar rich food, like fruits and honey. You see, what your body is crying out loudly is for sugar, particularly Fructose. Fructose rich foods like honey and banana, are thus recommended. A wonder drug to cure hangovers is pyridoxin. I haven’t tried it, but some of my friends recommend it. Another proven remedy is to eat eggs, the amino acids in eggs work pretty much the same way they work with NAC.


For all this, Jess insists that her ‘pick-me-up’ works wonders. I can testify to that, as on the two occasions that I have died, it has perked me up considerably.


Blend 2 bananas, 3 tablespoons of honey, and one raw egg. Mix this revolting mixture with 1 part Vodka and 2 parts tomato juice, and try and force it down your throat. Oh, don’t forget the ice cubes.


The best remedy, of course, is to drink little, and know your limits. I hope some of the above remedies will help alleviate your pain on the ‘morn after. Till then, as they say here, Skol mate!


*Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy


Benjamin Franklin(1706 - 1790)*


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