Mr. Moily is one of his two parents my friend Anil has. Anil has been a close pal for almost a decade now and over these years while visits at his place, I must have met Mr. Moily innumerable times. What is worth noting here is that as far as I can remember, I’ve seen Mr. Moily only dead drunk, whatever be the day of the year, or the time of the day.
Mr. Moily’s daughter (name withheld on request), almost everyday, converses with the ghost of an erstwhile landlord (name undisclosed due to memory lapse) of a large part of land on which Mr. Moily’s residential apartment stands today. She is quite blasé about these supernatural visits, and in fact frequently makes light, interesting anecdotal conversation about it.
After a certain years of tolerance, Mrs. Moily decided not to put up with her husband and his perennial influence of intoxicants, any more than she could accept her daughter’s informality and lack of reserve with dead landlords. It is now the opportune moment to add that even Anil had never been a model son to his mother (details withheld on request). The cumulative effect of all this was that Mrs. Moily disowned them collectively, is missing and has reportedly become a sanyasin.
In parallel circumstances, for three years Anil has been getting meager increments at work, and his girlfriend cum fiancé recently summarized that she was off to Australia for good and if everything went well would never want to see him again.
To summarize - My friend Anil is chronically depressed (it possibly is a malady that is seen automatically in people who are unfortunate enough to qualify as my ‘friends’, but then that’s strictly besides the point, and we shall dwell on it some other time)
Now - It’s the time to disco (sorry, ignore that).
I mean it’s the time for counselor Prem to get to work and tackle each of Anil’s issues one by one. These remedies to depression may sound overly Simplistic, but then that’s the kind of guy I am - Simple. (Maybe that my brother dated Simple Kapadia very many years ago has got a lot to do with it. Don’t ask who Simple Kapadia coz I’m just too embarrassed to stand up for my brother’s choice in dating.)
Actual review begins now- you might as well have read from here
Alcoholism, a broken family, divorce/separation from a loved one, lack of job satisfaction, financial crisis, etc. mostly are the main causes of depression, and some people like Anil are just lucky enough to have them all occurring in tandem.
To tackle each of his things one by one:-
“Anil what’s the problem?”
~ “My father is alcoholic.”
So? What have you done about it? Tried to get him treated? talk to him? stop his growing alcoholism? Been a positive influence to him to stop it or at least control it? Are you even going to try anything like that now? I don’t think you are. If so, then stop cribbing about it and being gloomy. Either act on the matter or forget the matter. Next?
~ “My sister talks to a ghost.”
Wow! And you are depressed? She is the one talking to ghosts and as I can see things, she is pretty happy about it. Then why have you to fret? Think of it this way, no one else has a sis who talks to ghosts, I mean your life is so interesting, was I in your place I’d have fun listening to her latest anecdotes. For things beyond your control, try to look for amusement in them
~ “Amma left us”
She didn’t leave only because of you, it was coz of a whole dysfunctional family unit. Did you try to get her back; did you try to change the situation that prompted her to leave? Again, either act or forget it and also Don’t take the entire blame when you are party only a part of it
~ “My fiancé left me”
(Although I was itching to say, “Go get laid yaar, preferably someone you’ve never laid before.” I controlled myself and this is what I advised.)
Someone has left to feel happier without you, good for them. And be happy for them. People who have left you can take away their memories too, don’t keep them if the memories make you feel sad. Though I can’t tell you to get another mother, but you can of course get another fiancé. Missing someone? Either get her back or make her want to come back or find a substitute/ alternative. I know of people who gone through a divorce, yet have never been merrier. That the word divorce is finally losing its social stigma maybe helps. I loved Pooja Bedi’s quote, *“One should always get married but never expect it to last.” This may be seen as something way too bohemian, but at least it erases the depression of a divorce, or the illogical need to remain stuck in a depressing marriage solely due to societal pressures.
Here, I’m immediately reminded of how I was dumped two years back by my girlfriend (name withheld because you guys are too nosey) I sought solace in the fact that she left me for another girl and not another guy, and is happily living her lsbian life now. The three of us even meet for dinner now and then. See, I told you don’t crib about things beyond your control, coz I can be anything she wanted me to be but couldn’t possibly become a lsbian.
~ “My job sucks. I might be asked to leave.”
Whose doesn’t? Get a new job, or learn to love this one. Life is like that, don’t magnify things and feel woe is me. My neighbor and his wife were given the golden handshake the same month, and after 17 months of unemployment and low moods, they started their own business venture and with courage and resilience are economically much better off than they ever were.
~ “I feel very lonely”
Remember, man is in essence alone. Ask even anyone who has a lot of loves, friends, or a great understanding spouse, yet somewhere down there everyone feels lonely. Its just that one tends to magnify this feeling a bit out of proportion and get depressed. Yes there are times when you feel acutely lonely, for eg. I’ve been going down on my knees begging before everyone I know to accompany me to Sangeeta Theatre Malad East to see ‘Sajanwa Se Kar Do Humra Milanwa Hai Raam’ the latest superhit Bhojpuri film in the matinee show, but no one is willing. But do I feel lonely, do I feel depressed, I only laugh at all of you for not realizing what solid entertainment you guys are missing
Something to depress you further: review continues in the comments section
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