Ouch! it hurts.... Review on Handling Depression

*Good to forgive, Best to forget;

Dying, we live; Living, we fret!

-R.Browning *

(All those who are reading this review.just a request, spare a few moments to think about what I wish to convey through this write-up.)

Today, I've chosen to discuss this topic as I've seen increasing number of people getting into depression just b'cos they've not been able to forgive! Yes, forgive.forgive themselves.

Each one of us, at some time or the other, hurt or inflict pain on other people. We may do this deliberately when are very angry on the person concerned or(most times) we may not even realise that we are hurting someone by our behaviour or words. Whatever the reason we hurt people, when we realise how much pain we have caused to the person, most of us feel remorseful. More so, when some serious damage is caused.

How does one tackle such an uncomfortable situation?

The Escapist will try to look for ways to escape .but will only cause more harm with feelings of guilt which may lead to depression. The best way would be to apologise directly and try to make good as far as possible for our mistakes. Getting someone's forgiveness is relatively easier if the apology is genuine.

What we need next is…'Introspection'. We must look into ourselves and try to understand what made us cause harm to the people in our lives. Here, the soul-search begins. It's difficult to face our darker side. But, we need to do so to fully forgive ourselves. We must understand that we -as human beings; will make mistakes.big or small. And, one grave mistake does not make us a'bad' person. We have to accept our weaknesses and learn to forgive ourselves…. give ourselves a chance to grow. We must continue to love ourselves as we did before. As the saying goes' You cannot love someone else unless you love yourself'.

If we don't forgive ourselves, we get trapped in the net of endless self-hate, punishment, self-destruction and depression. It not only adversely affects our own selves, but also those closely related to us.

If we forgive ourselves, we open the door to learning from the past and accumulating wisdom which would prevent us from repeating such deeds and warning those we care about from the same.

Let me repeat,

Good to forgive, Best to forget;

Dying, we live; Living, we fret!

Let us learn to live.while we are alive.

ADDED May 29, 2002

I took a depression quiz recently and learnt some interesting facts about depression. Presenting it here for the benefit of MS members in compiled and edited form.

Lets break some myths.

1)Depression is the opposite of happiness?

FALSE!

It's true that one often feels sad when one is depressed. But depression itself is a kind of muting of all emotions except fear and anxiety. In fact, absence of feelings about what should be meaningful to you is a signal that you might be suffering from depression.

2) Toughing out a bad spell will strengthen your character?

FALSE!

Depression is basically cyclical. Most people feel bad and then better for a while, but the dark feelings eventually return. As the cycle continues, you typically spend more time feeling worse and less time feeling better.

3) Basic lifestyle habits can keep your mood buoyed?

TRUE!

Despite depression's powerful grip, there are many ways to fight it.Exercise can be enormously effective in warding off depression; eating a well-balanced diet(the fewer sugar highs and crashes the better) helps, too. Faith is often a powerful shield against the blues. When you're depressed you begin to feel that your life has no purpose; religion can give people who feel lost some very specific goals and objectives.

4) The best way to help a friend or loved one recover from depression is to tell him or her to cheer up?

FALSE!

If someone you love is depressed, the best thing you can do pull them out of isolation. Talk to them, sit by in silence, remind them that treatment can help. Don't, however, tell them to cheer up. Accept that their statements, no matter how distorted they may seem, are their truth for the moment. At times asking a depressed person to get help as a favor to you works. But each individual is different. Some people have to hit bottom before they'll budge, and there's nothing you can do to get them help before that.

5) A person who takes antidepressants for depression is cheating instead of dealing with the problem?

FALSE!

People are frequently leery of antidepressants or therapy because they think they're cheating. Women in particular worry that they should face the difficult things in their lives head-on. Nothing can free you from the world's disappointments and suffering. But if you grapple with your depression, you'll be open to more experiences and feel more fulfilled in what you do; at the same time, the painful encounters will be more exciting and rewarding.