Rules- Lousy Hit Actresses ka super hit Formula. Review on Five Worst Actresses of Bollywood Movies

The latest light comedy romance film, Rules- Pyaar ka super hit formula inspired the title of my latest review, although it has nothing to do with this review. Now getting on with the review(How many times have I said review in this paragraph?)

Many actresses get on my nerves. In the name of acting they flutter their eyes and carry a smile the whole movie. And when they win any award, I just can’t help but feel how pathetic are Bollywood awards like Filmfare and Fairglow Zee Cine. But you don’t want me to get started on that. So the following actresses I’m going to mention are about hit so called actresses who have followed their own rules and tunneled their way in my favoutite forest – Bollywood.

Top place- Aishwarya Rai

Rule # 1: Always be sure you look hot ‘n’ gorgeous on screen. Make sure everybody knows you have won a Miss World award.

Rule # 2: If the director tells you to cry or act serious, wrinkle your face, scream, shout, and cry. However, make sure you don’t get your make-up messed up.

I know I’m going to get a lot of protest, but I thing she is the worst, most overrated actress of all times. I’ve seen her literally carry the same expression in HDDCS, Devdas, and Kuch na Kaho! Taal was horrible too! Jeans was understandable as she was new. Aa Ab Laut Chalein ditto to Kuch Na Kaho. And to think she won TWO FILMFARES! Her teaching to me was that never expect anything from beautiful actresses.

2nd Place- Esha Deol

Rule # 1: Make sure you get a lot of publicity and a good promotion in Bollywood thanks to names of your parents.

Rule # 2: If your parents are getting an award, make sure they talk about you(Remember Hema Malini getting the lifetime achievment award in Zee Cine).

If this girl had half the talent of her parents, I know I would like her a lot. Sadly, she has nothing to boast about except her family name tag- Deol. I wonder how corrupt Filmfare must have got to give her the Best Debut. Naa Tum Jano Na Hum and Kya Dil Ne Kaha secured her spot in 2nd place. Her teaching to me is to never expect anything from the children of two of your favourite stars(Hema Malini especially).

3rd place- Lara Dutta/Priyanka Chopra

Rule # 1: Make sure your figure is perfect.

Rule # 2: Be sure to get some songs where you get to look vulgar and wear the smallest clothes available.

Rule # 3: Have the Miss World look on your face too like Aishwarya Rai.

These two are like twins, because Andaaz, The Hero, Mumbai Se Aaya Mera Dost was enough to tell me that these two girls lack talent. Can’t say much because they’re still pretty new but till now whatever they did was horrible. Remember the songs in Andaaz? Yeesh! Their teaching to me was never expect anything from Miss Worlds. They made this teaching definite after Aishwarya.

4th Place- Rambha

Rule # 1: Try to get some movies with Govinda. He’ll run the whole movie. Just make sure you can dance well.

Rule # 2: Always make sure you’re not wearing short clothes otherwise people will see your weight.

This ever struggling, not so hit actress really needs to stop depending on Govinda or good actors like Anil Kapoor. Beti No. 1, KMJNB, and Gharwali Baharwali, she was lousy. She can’t well and needs a desperate hit if she’s still working in Bollywood. She doesn’t have a bad face but is overweight.

5th Place- Di(y)a Mirza

Rule # 1: Try to ACT, and hope that the movie becomes a hit!

Rule # 2: If you still have a flop, try to go with the most wanted actor around(Vivek Oberoi- Dum) with no much role for you in the movie.

Another struggling actress who just changed the spelling of her name in desperate needs of a hit. Dum, Deewanapan, the movie with Mahadavan, and I don’t remember others, but this lady cannot act. She is terrible. I wonder whether she’ll ever improve.

Oh Yeah, I have selected these actresses as the current talentless, so people like Mamta Kulkarni or Farah are not here.

I hope you liked my review and hope you didn’t get angry!

P.S. You’re welcome to the comments section. If you have some stars who are clueless in the name of talent, please tell me.