(S)HIT. Review on Five Hindi Films Which Did Not Deserve To Be Hits

Bollywood is crazy. Bollywood can drive you crazy. It keeps oscillating between the sublime, entertaining, pedestrian and bakwas all the time. So, one can safely say that there HIT movies and there are(S)HIT movies that deserve to be hit.

But, kintu, parantu, the public does get confused at times. Movies that ought to be washed in the loo with a lota are sometimes elevated to cult status. Bollywood is full of examples where a ridiculous movie gets public acceptance and the result is that we are then served umpteen rehashed versions of the same crap.

My list of movies that deserved to be hit is as follows:

Tiranga

A solid misadventure by Mehul Kumar starring an overrated Raj Kumar, an over-the-top Nana Patekar and a without-the-top Mamta Kulkarni. Everything about this movie was so tacky – story, direction, performance, and music. But the videshi element(the videshi was played by some South Indian actor) seemed to strike a cord with the audience. The movie was a runaway hit. Something I still need to understand.

Aaj Ka Arjun

A 60-plus Lata Mangeshkar sings for a 40-plus Jaya Pradha(eeks) who prances with a 50-year old Amitabh Bachchan. The lyrics – “Gori Hain Kalaiyan Tu Pehna De Mujhe Hari Hari Choodhiyan”. Gosh!

Amitabh spends a good four years or so in prison. Before being framed by the good old Thakur, he was the quintessential gaon ka buddha, I mean gaon ka gora with kurta, dhoti, and gamcha. But once he’s released he’s always dressed in jackets, tight leather pants and dark goggles. Do they give all this in jail? Amitabh hams till he becomes a hamburger, Jaya Pradha cries like Shah Rukh Khan(I mean she cries all the time), Amrish Puri hollers so loudly that the director(who else but KC Bokadia) had to sing vicks ki goli lo khich khich door karo all the time.

Tohfa

Bollywood in the early 80’s was the pits.'Jumping Jack' Jeetendra dominated the scene along with'Thundering Thighs' Sridevi. Tohfa to me is one prime example of the ‘path-breaking movies’ that the duo costarred in. They danced amidst pots and pans to lyrics that went “Tohfa Tohfa …. Laya … Laya”, * *“Ta Thaiyya Ta Thaiyya Huuuuu”, * “Icream khaogi, picture chalogi”*. Add Jaya Pradha(not again) with a large dose of Shakti Kapoor and Kadar Khan as comic-villains and you have the highly successful Tohfa formula. What had gone wrong with the ticket-paying public those days?

Chandni

This one was a hit, undoubtedly but Yash Chopra deserved to be spanked for making it. A done to death love triangle with Sridevi, Rishi Kapoor, and Vinod Khanna in the lead roles, Chandni was the worst hit movie coming from the Yashraj camp. The only saving grace here was the mellifluous music by Shiv-Hari.

Chalte Chalte

A trite expose of a marriage gone wrong, Chalte Chalte was a half-baked effort by Shahrukh Khan and Aziz Mirza. Wonder what happened to Raju who said “Yes Boss”? Shahrukh hams it to the hilt while Rani Mukherjee looks obese and jaded.