Oct 22, 2009 01:30 PM
4111 Views
One fine day if I decide that I will wear lehenga choli, salwaar kammez, a trouser with formal jacket, a sari, a bikini top and a skimpy skirt all at one go…you’ll know that I’ve gone batty! However that day hopefully will not arrive for me – but it has sadly dawned for the director to this movie Anurag Singh and the producer Aditya Chopra. They decided to make yet another Apna Punjab kind of movie and spiced it with every clichéd masala in Bollywood. The result? No particular flavour lingers in mind!
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
(In the movie this soundtrack keeps coming in the background, hoping to enhance its energy levels. So I’m obliged to do the same.)
We have patriotism, India-Pakistan bhai bhai, oomph, sex and glamour, feminism, women’s rights, the power of dreams,bhangra, mustard fields, love, village girl meets city slick boy, global Indians and last but not the least cricket. I hope I have not missed out anything here (the director certainly did not!).
Here’s the story - there’s this charming nondescript pind somewhere near Wagha border in Punjab. There amidst its swaying mustard fields lies a cricket stadium that will put The Lords cricket ground to shame! In this happy pind lives Vicky (Anupam Kher) who has his own cricket team. Just across the border lives his best friend Lucky – who of course is the owner of the rival cricket team. Every year, the two teams clash at the local Aman Cup and much to our collective disappointment India keeps losing the match. So Vicky deceitfully asks his son Rohan (Shahid Kapoor) to come down from England where he stays with his mother (Poonam Dhillon) – and is a county player. Rohan is reluctant at first – but after an emotional, cliché laded speech from his father about dreams…he gives in and decides to form a team in which the word ‘defeat’ does not exist.
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
Now in this same happy village lives a cricket crazy girl ‘Veera’ (Rani Mukherjee). She lives – for some unexplained reason - with a nautankigroup and is their resident clothing and make-up expert.Veera dreams of one day opening for the Indian cricket team with Sachin paaji!!! (If you’re gawking at that line - I know the feeling). So when she hears of team selections happening for the next Aman Cup, she weilds her bat and goes forth for the selections in her bright salwar suit with her hair billowing in the wind (not the best way to play cricket you will agree!). Not surprisingly, the watchman shoos her off saying that this is not a selection for Miss India. While I heartily agree with the watchman here – Veera does not! Tears spring into her eyes even as a well times ‘Jai Mata Di” procession goes by. She promptly delivers her one-liner saying – on one hand you put women on a pedestal and pray to her while on the other hand you ridicule her dreams. I would have said bravo (!!) had the director not contradicted himself right away by portraying women as a sex symbol in the very next scene! In comes Rakhi sawant the star performer of the village nautanki – in the skimpiest of clothes. While she raunches around and testosterone runs high – Veera gets this brainwave to transform herself into Veer – a dainty little sardar. So then she goes as Veer for the selection – and well…you know the obvious happens – she gets selected.
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
Then begin practice session at the swank stadium in the village. In comes Sherlyn Chopra – former Miss Chandigadh – who is out to woo Rohan. Sherlyn comes to watch cricket practice in bikini top, hot pants, a Burberry scarf and a navel ring. She daintily applies sun tan oil as she watches the match. At this point if you’re wondering all this in a village in Punjab...and whatever happened to Jai Mata Di – perish the logical thought!
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
So this la di da life goes on in the village even as cricket practice heats up and so does the off the field romance between Veera and Rohan. They even go on a ‘date’ at some hep ‘swiss like’ locale in the village – where Veera who is usually seen in garish Punjabi suits – turns up in skimpy, low cut Western wear. (What!!!)
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
After about four annoyingly loud Punjabi songs and after high testosterone levels have been achieved with Sherlyn Chopra and Rakhi Sawant – the film meanders towards its inevitable climax – the Aman Cup!
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
Halfway through the match Rohan discovers the truth that Veer and Veera are the same. (Oh finally! You blind bat!). Then comes the best and the most tolerable 10 minutes of the movie. India of course wins the cup thanks to a firebrand innings by Veer. In the end Veer comes as Veera and gives an emotional speech (sigh!) about women and dreams and so on. Finally all’s well that ends well and everyone goes off skipping and singing into the mustard fields.
Hadippa hadippa hadippa
The saving grace of the movie is Rani Mukherjee! She does a splendid job as Veer and one feels sorry for her by the end of it. Shahid looks bored right through the film and I do not blame him. Suffice to say that the director has wasted two very talented actors in this movie! If you've not watched it - consider yourself lucky. And like me if you've downloaded it and watched it for free just for a good laugh- you're smart. But if you've spent money to watch it...poor you!!
