Sep 23, 2005 02:18 PM
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(Updated Sep 29, 2005 12:58 PM)
There were a few things which we totally agreed upon right from the beginning. We both loved glass bowls, long handled spoons, indoor palms and purposeless drives into the city when the weather was good. And one thing we stood together for, against all opinions and comments from our families was “We won’t have a baby for at least a year, year and a half after marriage!!”.
Not even six months had passed since the fateful day that we had started getting calls from every one we knew “When are you giving us the good news?” Means what is it with people…can’t they stand seeing a perfectly happy couple having a good time? Don’t rush into making babies from the day of your marriage. You need some quality time together before doing so
I shivered at the very mention of the word BABY and all I could see was a squealing tiny creature, lots of triangular clothes hanging on the rope line in balcony and both of us lying in one corner of the room with our tongues hanging out and stars doing circles round our head. We were busy scking the juice out of life (and bank too) and a year passed in a flash. Those purposeless drives slowly did start feeling purposeless and we felt that we had collected enough glass bowls and long handled spoons. The palms in the living room were not doing too well either. One night soon we had to confess that we did need something to look forward to now and we set sail on a path well trotted.You eventually will want to have babies. Don’t put that off for too long either
Don’t know whether this is listed in Murphy’s laws but believe me its true. “You don’t get pregnant when you want it the most”. I did not need to get any forged medical bills made that year to get tax exemption. We were actually spending like hell on ultrasounds and other tests. Surprisingly everything was just all right. Take my word for it, sometimes to know that everything is all right is more torturous than to hear something is wrong. The pressure was mounting and we were pushed to the limit as to try and do something as horrible as timed intercourses! Sex was no more for pleasure; it was for making a baby. Fortunately it was not an endless wait and the very next week of our second wedding anniversary, my wife asked me to bring a pregnancy test kit. Those two blue lines on that small white strip seemed nothing short of an original Hussain painting. We were ecstatic. It’s true that you don’t value those things in life which you haven’t wanted badly. This was precious.!!
I found myself searching for all possible information on the net about what precautions to take and bought all possible books on the matter. Wify was having a bit of rough time as any prospective mother compulsorily has for the first 3 months. She hated tea! (which she could not do without), vomited at least 4 times a week (morning sickness), and hated the very sight of all the yummy things which she loved eating. Only very spicy things would appeal to her. We appointed an extra Bai for cooking food so that she could have a little more rest. But amongst all this chaos life still seemed better, we were both starry eyed, looking forward to that day.
Incidentally I had to leave for Australia for work at the beginning of the fourth month. She is generally very strong and it’s me who cries from time to time but it was her turn to wet my shirt the day I was leaving. I was assured that she would be joining me soon in Australia. But damn the Australian Immigration who denied her the visa on grounds that she could not have a chest x-ray done Any person who has the slightest of sense would tell them that x-ray is a total no during any stage of pregnancy but the suckers would just not listen. So I find myself all alone in an alien land cooking my food and buying calling cards at an alarming rate. I could not help but call her everyday to know how she was doing. She was staying with my parents in Meerut. Pregnancy can be a hard time emotionally and more often than not she was found feeling low when I called her. Never leave your wife alone during those nine months. This is the time she needs you the most. I often felt guilty that she had to do without me during her first pregnancy. I was yearning to go back as soon as I had arrived. It was not before 4 months that I boarded the flight back to India. It was still some time for the due date but I could not stay there any longer and cut short my trip by 2 months.
I was surprised to find myself thinking all the time on the way about the little one yet to see the daylight. How would the baby look, what would he/she become? The parenting syndrome had already gripped me. Seeing one’s wife after four months is an experience that can only be felt not written about. She looked strange with that huge round belly but in a very cute way.
Now I know it’s actually true that face starts to glow during pregnancy. I touched her belly and for the first time could actually feel the baby alive and kicking. My hands quivered at that sensation, it was something I had never felt before, it was simply out of the world. Curiosity got the better of us and we came to know through the routine color Doppler ultrasound then that the baby was a girl. We were absolutely ecstatic as this is what we had wanted, specially Wify. I had to come back to Pune as she was completing her 37 weeks and the baby was due any time now.
I finally got the call on a Friday night in Pune that her BP has shot up and doctor is advising an induced delivery to mitigate the risk. I caught the earliest possible flight and within a few hours she was admitted in the nursing home. I was just not satisfied with the cleanliness and other facilities in the hospital and kept ruing the fact that her visa was turned down by the immigration guys. I insisted her to be admitted in the ICU as it was a lot better than the rest of the place. She was induced and soon went into labor. I was totally freaked out to see how much pain was she in and just kept wishing for the trauma to be over soon. But 11 hours hence there was no sign of the baby and it was then that the doctor told us that she will have to go for a C-section else it could be dangerous for the baby. I felt weak in my knees and it was for the first time I was seriously panicking. But C-sections are getting more common now. In fact some ladies prefer it to the normal delivery to avoid the trauma of labor pain. It’s no more a big deal now. I felt a bit relaxed as I was assured by a lot of people around me and saw Wify off to the OT.
It was just a 40-45 minute wait when the doctor appeared out rather exhausted but with a smile. “It’s a girl”. Well that wasn’t a news to me but her smile told me that everything was fine. I would have to wait to see the baby and sat in the ICU along Wify who was under anesthesia and looked quite pale. I kept sitting there for long and realized that my eyes were wet for God knows what. My father called me to tell me that the baby had been handed over to my mother. ..continued in comments..