Oct 16, 2001 02:55 AM
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I usually enjoy choosing just the right gift for family and friends. The exception-wedding gifts! Wedding gifting in the US has gone way out of control. Couples register at multiple stores or let it be known that they really just want the cash, thank you! I have some thoughts for both the gifter and the giftees.
For the Giver.
First, let's consider a radical idea. A gift is something freely given. Although it is certainly traditional to send a wedding gift when invited to the wedding, there are no wedding police! If you got invited to the wedding of your fourth cousin whom you've never met that lives clear across the country, you know they aren't really looking for you to show up. They are looking for the gift. Feel free to send a nice card and your best wishes.
Next, the gift should reflect your relationship with the couple. Choose according to your own feelings and means.
Wedding Registries contain helpful suggestions but you are not required to make a selection from them. They can certainly give you insight into the couple's tastes and desires. Likewise, if the couple inserts a card that says no gifts-send cash, this is a suggestion you can use or ignore.
On the other hand, unusual and unique are not always desirable qualities in a wedding gift. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder-don't buy these kinds of things unless you are very sure they will be well received. Don't make your gift next year's yard sale joke!
Do enclose a gift receipt if you can, so the gift can be exchanged.(most department stores do this-the receipt has the item information without price)
Now for the bride and groom.
Contrary to popular belief, the wedding guest is not obliged to pay for your honeymoon or the downpayment on your house via cash donations. Any kind of specification regarding gifts in an invitation is tacky. Bridesmaids and parents can verbally share this information IF someone asks what to get.
Do use registries as a way of letting people know what you like. Make sure you have items in several price ranges. Don't expect that everyone will use them.
Do send thank you notes promptly. Especially if gifts are sent from the store or mailed. People need to know the gift was received.
Now I'll share with you my all time favorite wedding gift to give. A gift certificate for Home Depot. There is always something you'll need from Home Depot.
