In our society, taking good care of elders has never been an issue. These days, this matter is getting complicated due to end of joint families, time-consuming careers, etc.
Let us not discuss whose fault that is.
Our culture says-
'.Satyãnn pramaditavyam, bhutyae na pramditavyam,
swãdhyãy pravachanãbhyãm na pramditavyam,
Matrudevo bhav, pitrudevo bhav, ãchãryadevo bhav.'
I would like to suggest some practical tips on taking care of aging parents/ grandparents.
These tips can be classified as ‘for physical care’ and ‘for emotional care.’
Physical care-
1)Doctors- it is always good if you have a reliable family doctor, who knows the patient well. The doctor should ideally be from the same locality, aware of patient’s case history, and very reputed.
2)Specialists- If the elders have any specific ailment/ problem, then find a good specialist for that. Write down the phone numbers of these doctors in a phone diary. Maintain properly arranged files for reports, X-rays, test results, etc.
3)Medicines- if the elders have to take regular medicines, remind them to do so. Buy all the required medicines. Always buy new stock well in advance. Maintain a file for prescriptions, too. Periodically, go through the medicine drawer and check for expiry dates. Throw away old tubes and bottles(to clear space, and to avoid confusing them with the new ones).
4)Always consult the doctor before making any change in medicine brand, dose, etc. That is why I said; it’s better if you have a friendly family doctor. You can bug him / her as much as you want!
5)Food- if the elders have any restrictions, special diet, etc., make sure that it is strictly followed. So, there should be dal, rice and rotis made in the kitchen(even if you are on a ‘pizza and noodles’ diet), so that the elders’ food habits are not disturbed.
6)If the senior members of your family stay alone(either completely or during 9-to-5), security should be the topmost concern. Get safety grills for the door; do not trust servants without verifying, tell the elders to take proper precautions.
7)If the elders stay completely alone, try to visit them often. Make sure that you do the little chores like shopping, repair work, etc. when you visit. If you can’t go often, call them up regularly.
8)First aid box, other stuff used for basic patient care should be kept handy so that it can be immediately accessed during emergencies.
Emotional Care-
1)Firstly, do not consider this as a ‘burden’ or ‘one more job to do’. Always remember that you are lucky that you ‘get’ to do this.
2)Cheer them up. Share some jokes. Make them laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.(This doesn’t mean that you go on boring senior citizens with your PJs!).
3)Help them with their hobbies. If they are interested in music, books, any other activity, encourage them to take up those hobbies. For e.g. If they like to read, you can take the responsibility of issuing books from the library, or buying good books regularly
4)Spend time with them. Take them out for a walk. Or a drive. Or have a casual chat.(The drives and walks should be considered only if their health permits). Spend some quality time together. Have a chat. You will gain some wisdom. They will gain some joy.
5)If you have to tell them a bad news, do so very tactfully. Minds are very fragile at that age, so take care.
6)Try not to disturb their schedules and lifestyle. It is difficult to cope with changes at that age. Let them live their life, their way. Some senior citizens don’t like it if they are given too much attention. Make sure that your intention to ‘help’ doesn’t become some kind of unnecessary disturbance for them!
7)They should not feel ‘unwanted’. The feeling of being ‘unwanted’ or ‘redundant’ is the worst feeling at this age.
I know that if you are reading this article, you are a caring person. There is no doubt that you care. But make sure that they know that you care.
8)Get them more involved in your life. Let them know your friends. Tell them what goes on in your life, career, etc.
9)There was a time when you were a kid, and they were your pillars of support. There comes a time, when you have to become the strong pillar of support. Be cheerful, positive and brave in front of them.
10)Be a good listener.
11)Do not hurt them. Period.
I hope these tips will be helpful for you. Comments are welcome!
