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Killer Instincts
Jan 21, 2004 02:40 PM 13820 Views
(Updated Jan 21, 2004 03:42 PM)

Readability:

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I woke up at around midnight. Oh! how much I love midnights. Those are the times when I reach for my sharp hunter knife and go around killing people when they are fast asleep. Today, however I was in a very good mood and wanted really nice victims for my thirsty knife.


So out I went in the dark, with a knife in hand as the moon shone heavily on the blade. I walked along the lanes but couldn't find no interesting victims for my beloved weapon. I walked around trees, peeping in homes n' chimneys. But either I found people fast asleep or making love or watching television or at the most studying. So depressed, as I was, I apologized to my dear knife.


As I strolled down the lanes, I heard a sharp cry, ''Oh! Boy, where's my baseball bat?''


Now wasn't this interesting enough? A baseball bat in mid of the night? So I went in direction of the voice. I hid myself behind a strong trunk of a tree and watched silently a scenario I could never ever imagine in this age atleast.


A kid, just knee tall hold a baseball bat in air as if holding a sword and was making war cries, ''Come On you ol' dumb Dinosaur. See your species end with your own eyes.''


Now whatever that meant, I knew for sure, that I wasn't the only mad man in town. This one had reached much further at this age. I just stood there and watched his antique behavior. Soon I saw someone rushing towards the angry small kid. Oh! I mean it surely wasn't a Dinosaurs, but OOPS... Was I Dreaming?. I couldn't help watching a tiger running and jumping on two feet very much like a Dinosaur.


Eventually I found out the two of those strange animals there were doing nothing but just playing. But a kid playing with a tiger that can walk on two legs? That's strange enough. Hey but what was all this to do with me? I better mind my business. I just had to get the kill of the night.


A shrill female voice was soon heard from a house which obviously must be this kid's home, ''Calvin, it's high time, you go to bed.''


I said to myself, ''Oh! So his name is Calvin.''


The duo stopped their play and looked mysteriously towards the house and the boy uttered, ''Mom, it's not dark yet.''


''What do you mean it's not dark? It's already 1:00am''


''But Mom I can still see my surroundings clearly.''


''Enough is Enough. Back in bed or you have it from me.''


(A couple of sighs) ''Grown ups are real pains.''


I silently followed the duo as they entered the house. I peeped from the window as I saw, Calvin and the tiger sleeping in the same bed.


From their conversation, I soon found out that the tiger's name was Hobbes. As they fall asleep, I sneaked into the house. I was wondering, ''It's okay that I am inside the house. But what do I do next? And why am I here in the first place? Now that I am in, let me walk around and observe things.''


I went towards the bookshelf. Here I found a diary. As I went through it, I concluded that it was Calvin's parent's diary. Within lied some of the vivid conversations between Calvin and his dad n' mom.


--------------------------------------------------------------------


Calvin :? Where do babies come from? Is it true that a stork leaves them swaddled in a bundle on front step?


Dad :( In most cases yes, but you were unceremoniously dumped down the chimney by a big hairy Pterodactyl.


Calvin :) Cool


Dad :( Explains a lot; Doesn't it?


--------------------------------------------------------------------


Calvin :) You will be happy to know that I'm going to donate all the snot I sneeze to hospitals for mucus transfusions.


Mom :o Oh! stop being disgusting Calvin. Nobody needs that donated.


Calvin :? !!! Then I have a jar for you to wash.


----------------------------------------------------------------------


Hmm!! it does need a lot of patience to live with a child like Calvin. And even so more when the child is your son.


I put the diary back from where I had picked it from, taking care that no one would know that anyone had ever opened it.


Then my eyes caught sight of a weird book. It read Calvin And Hobbes on the cover page. Hmm!! That was interesting. I slipped my knife into it's wooden scabbard requesting her to have patience for a while.


I sat on a nearby sofa and went through the book. It contained pictures of Calvin, Hobbes, his parents and some of his other friends n' rivals. Each picture had a bubble on it's head showing that he / she was uttering the above words. That is indeed a cool way to talk; Ain't it? Imagine you don't have to talk at all. The person you are speaking to will read the bubble on your head for himself.


Calvin & Hobbes:


As I went through the book, I came across various characters in Calvin's life. But to meet the characters, one must know Calvin to core. Calvin indeed was a boy to be proud of but at the same time to be beware of. Be proud for his sweetness and beware of his sweet antique behaviors. This lill' kid here has imaginations so wild that, he can talk to his own food and have pity on it before having his tummy full. He can blame the earth's gravity for a snail's slow characteristics. He can assume that a question doesn't need to be answered if he doesn't know the answer. Moreover after reading a particular story, he can even wonder why exactly mice couldn't bell a cat.


Coming to Hobbes is someone who can highlight the height of Calvin's imaginations. Hobbes is just a soft toy tiger whom Calvin imagines being alive and Hobbes does come alive for Calvin to play with. When he is with Calvin, Hobbes is a philosopher who knows little about humans but derives conclusions about them based on the happening around himself and Calvin.


-----------------------------------------------------------------


Calvin :) I got my school pictures.


Hobbes :p Look at you… Ha Ha Ha… Look at your hair Ha Ha Ha… These are great. Ha Ha Ha…


Calvin :) Aren't they?


Hobbes :)) Look at this one. Hee Hee Hee… What an expression. Hoo Hoo Ha Ha…


Calvin :) Yeah, see I got my one eye to roll back…


Hobbes :*) Ha Ha Ha… Your mom's going to go into conniptions ofcourse.


Calvin :) Oh! C'mon years from now just think of the memories these will bring.


--------------------------------------------------------------


Susie Derkins


Susie Derkins is Calvin's friend. In fact his only friend other than Hobbes. Susie is exactly the opposite of what Calvin is. She is of the serious kinds and hates Calvin's weird jokes. However Calvin finds himself encouraged to add to the degree of his weirdness when he finds Susie annoyed by his pranks.


-------------------------------------------------------------------


Susie :) Hi! Calvin, mind if I join you for lunch?


Calvin :( Yes.


Susie :- I have soup today. What do you have?


Calvin :[] A squid eyeball sandwich.


Susie :o Don't be disgusting…


Calvin :[] I like to suck out the retinas.


Susie :@ MISS WORMWOOD…


Calvin :} Care for a bite? Or were you leaving?


---------------------------------------------------------------------


(contd. in comments)


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