Never heard of 3rd Degree Torture - Watch Baa-BULL. Review on Baabul

“Sometimes tears can be crocodile Tears…”

I had the misfortune of having couple of tickets for the most amazing movie of the millennium wherein I could spend lot of time sleeping in peace. I hated the whole idea of marriage video cassette’s being made into a movie, whether HAHK, Vivah or BaaBul.

It was long hard week and needed some nice peaceful sleep so when someone gave me the tickets, I thought it would be a good idea for me to impress my mom in telling her that I care for her (man I can be so bad and selfish) anyways she loved DHOOM 2 and Don ( you can guess , she is just like me ). But I never had an idea that I am going to make the biggest mistake of my life by venturing into a territory which I had never ventured in my last 20years.

Why I really wanted to see the movie …

I had hard long week and my cell phones keep on ringing so thought now days multiplex have cell phone jammers so can peacefully sleep for 3 hours. What the hell was John Abraham doing in a Marriage Video Cassette? (They curiosity … and curiosity kills a cat…!! )

Anyways the unknown territory should have been kept an unknown territory, me and my great folly of adventure.

The movie is all about Salman Khan who is living in London and returns back to his Parents.. Amitabh Bachhan (Big B) & Hema Malini (Everyone Cries when he returns) and you would have a Big B dejavu song.. Why a dejavu song because its I guess so umpteenth time Big B has come in such a song (Waqt, K3G, Baghban, and so on). After the song gets over everyone again cries (Why please don’t ask such question, they have to cry).Salman , meets love of his life Rani (Again Rani cries and after some time Salman Cries) (Why . .come on they are in love so they need to cry)

Now , once the love-cry show is over beginning of Marriage-cry show , so Big B goes to ask for Rani’s hand and you have bachpan ka saathi John [(What !! John Abhrahm…What John Abraham …What John ) (Don’t worry this would also effect you like this and you would keep on asking yourself what is john doing in this movie) ]first needs to approve the dulha and of course he approves because he loves Rani but its not the other way round. Rani always thought John was a friend. (Now John Cries, Rani Cries, Salman Cries …and of course you cry what the hell am I doing watching this movie).

Now begins the marriage video cassette in actual with loads of songs and of course the entire cast crying now , including few babies in the hall as they couldn’t bear so many of them crying. (Must be thinking it’s the time for them to cry as everyone is crying.)

Time goes by as years pass our Salman-Rani have got a 4year old kid and Salman is busy in London waiting desperately to come back to his Son’s Birthday party. (By this time, I was wondering what is the story of the movie). Now their has to be twist in this shaadi and that is our poor Salman doesn’t know how to cross the road and he gets hit by car and our muscle man dies. Now don’t even ask me what happened , the whole movie cried at this time and I got a chance to get some popcorn as was famished from sleeping and I had my mom waiting for me to wake up so that she can get all her venom on me to bring her to watch this movie. Anyways my stomach was full with popcorn and coke, I thought of going for second round of sleep.

Crying Continues…

After the interval the cry continues and philosophical crying started with Big B now becoming the Father-in-law of the century to wed her widowed daughter-in-law again and who would he go to , of course our very own guitar star John. After convincing with his philosophical bull John gets convinced and with the philosophical bull Rani gets convinced to marry again but Mr Om Puri (Big B’s brother) doesn’t get convinced and gives him Parmpara Bull. (In the mean time everyone is crying , mind you that is still going on).

After all its Big B, his bull is better then Om Puri’s bull so he manages to convince everyone and get Rani, married to John. They all lived happily ever after...(Note: Still everyone is crying)

Now, in this age why would anyone even think of making a movie like this and for that matter idiots like me going and watching this movie. Man, I should be punished thoroughly for going to see the movie and bigger punishment for my friend who gave me the ticket.

We all know we are in 21st century and in the age of extra-marital affairs, live-in relationship who really wants this bull of re-marriage. Even if they wanted to show this, could have made a short 1hour movie of just that aspect of the movie. Filmmakers should have mercy on the viewers as people go to watch a movie for entertainment for fun to be happy to enjoy and not to cry and get depressed.

Don’t ask me about acting, now days Big B would do anything to be seen in a movie or ads or Television, this role is for a character actor not Big B. Just because this movie comes from B.R. Chopra banner doesn’t mean it’s a great movie, it’s the worst movie of this age and only who are born to cry and love crying should go and watch this movie.

If this movie gets even one award in our rigged award function , then surely we should really stay away from believing the awards. I know their would be loads of nominations for this movie just for the heck of it being a Marriage Cassette and also for being a Clean family movie. (Clean family movie , my foot.!!)

Boon for our Police…

Now tell me isn’t that a movie of this level should be made and should be watched. Hold on, Hold on!! I mean to say such movies are needed for our Cops so that they can show these movies in the torture room to the criminal’s so that they agree to the crime they have committed. In fact, you show this movie to anyone even if he has not done the crime he would agree to have committed. That’s the kind of 3rd Degree torture treatment this movie can give you.

P.S: You all must be wondering, how the hell I know the story of the movie when I was sleeping. That was a punishment given by mom & sister while driving back home they narrated the entire story to me.