A great effort by Ms. De. Review on Spouse: The Truth About Marriage - Shobha De

I must admit I started reading Shobha De’s Spouse-the truth about marriage more out of curiosity than out of any literary interest. Curiosity because by no stretch of imagination could I relate Shobha De and a serious essay on marriage. I was certain that at best she must have made certain flippant remarks on the futility of marriage considering the fact that she has made a mockery of the institution in most of her previous novels.

But I was pleasantly surprised. She had me hooked from Page one. Her command over the English language has always been impeccable. But in Spouse she has surpassed herself. The language used is simple yet strong. You hardly have to reach out for the dictionary to look up difficult words, so you can concentrate fully on the book and read on uninterrupted. No excess use of flowery terms either.

After reading the novel, I feel the following four points form its essence:

Firstly, do not enter into a marriage for the sake of marriage. The Indian society still raises eyebrows at spinsters above thirty. There are whispers all around: Why hasn’t she got married? Is something wrong with her? And to avoid answering embarrassing questions, parents get their daughter married off to the first person that comes along. Not surprisingly, nine out of ten such marriages are disasters.

Secondly, mutual respect is an important component of a successful marriage. If your so-called friends publicly ridicule your partner then it is best to sever your ties with them, because you are better off without such ‘friends’.

Third, try to understand your ma in law. She is not the monster that she is made to be. Accept the fact that she is your husband’s mother and has known him longer than you have. So, she is bound to be possessive of her son. Instead of resenting it, you should tactfully manage her, and in time your relations with her will definitely improve. Avoid confrontation as much as possible but this does not mean that you have to take everything quietly. Protest when you feel she is being unfair.

Last but not the least, try to be hundred percent honest and committed to the relationship. Try resolving your differences to the maximum extent possible. Divorce should be the last resort.

Shobha De has shown a tremendous sense of loyalty by acknowledging Induben, her ex ma-in-law, as one of her inspirations in penning this book. That her relations with Induben are still cordial speaks a lot for her nature.

Using film/song titles as chapter headings was a novel way of capturing audience interest and of informing the reader about the gist of the chapter.

The last sentence given on the back of the book sums it up perfectly-

“Fun, savvy and, above all, pragmatic, this is the ultimate relationship book for all those who want to make the adventure of marriage last a lifetime.”

A must read for all those who believe in the institution of marriage.