Today I am feeling so humiliated, and embarrassed more than that at this moment. I was requested to attend a party somewhere for which I had to postpone lots of official work today. But when I was about to leave,I received a phone call. A person who is nowhere related to the management was told to inform me that the invitation has been withdrawn! The reason they showed was such a feeble one that I just couldn't keep myself wondering about the professionalism of the host! At least they would've informed me at least few hours before.........this is not the way of dealing with anyone. But what should I do? My meetings and appointments were already cancelled,so I had no other options. I took a deep breath and started analysing the situation. Disappointment has been an integral part of my life,this is not at all a new experience. Sometimes it shook me very badly,sometimes it gave me new inspiration to fight back. But one incident I particularly remember which gave me the taste of a bitter truth at a very young age. This is the first disappointment I can remember thoroughly,including all details.
Our house was being constructed for which we had to stay in a rented house. At this time I was a preschooler. In Kolkata,there is a remarkable discrepancy observed between house owners and tenants. The owners behave as if they are the supreme authority to decide everything about their tenants. At that time,our house owner had some functions in her house for which she invited all our neighbours. They didn't ask my whole family,asked only me to take lunch at their home. I was very happy to see all the decoration and arrangements, as a child those things were new to me and very entertaining. I made my own plans about what I will wear and what I will see there.On the puja day I didn't want to go to school,but Mama was very strict about it. She assured me that nothing is running away till I come back. The puja and everything will wait for me.
Whole day I kept on thinking about the function. But some cruel joke was waiting for me at home. When I finally managed to return,I met with something very much unexpected. The puja was over,all the guests left after lunch. The function hall looked empty and strewn food plates and leftovers lied on the empty tables. The worst of all,the owner and her family forgot all about me in the whole affair.The disappointment came crashing, it seemed so cruel to me that I started crying standing there only. My mom came running and she understood immediately what happened. She took me to our flat. The owner heard me crying,she came to see what happened. When my mom told her the reason,she bit her tongue and left. After few minutes she came back with two bowls. In those bowls,some leftover curries were kept. She gave those to me and said,"Sorry I forgot about you,now have lunch with this"......and she left. I was so sad. Did I want the food? No. I was waiting to be a part of that celebration. Her behaviour infuriated my mom,she just took the bowls n threw away the contents. Disappointment shook me so badly that after this incident I stopped talking to the owner lady and stopped visiting her home.
Today I remember,I am living side by side with the factor,disappointment. These all are part of life. Now I am grown up,no disappointment can shake me like the one I came across in my childhood. Moreover it has given me the strength to stand against all the odds. Jeena Isi Ka naam hain........
