I am a working professional. I get up at 7am in the morning on each week day. Not by myself or any alarm. It's my mother who wakes me up. I get ready hurriedly to catch the 8:15 morning bus to my office. I try my best to catch it as my office is some 20 kms away from my home and the quality of public transport service is deplorable. I take my bath and get dressed as my mom cooks my lunch and prepares my breakfast. On many of the days, I hardly get time to speak to her in the morning. I just say "Bye" before leaving my home.
I inform her when I reach office. But then, the whole day I get immersed in meetings, client calls, presentations, and project work. I never call anyone from office neither do I like getting calls. My work needs concentration and the margin of error is very low. I have worked my way to achieve a position in office and I don't want to let it go. My mother calls me only if it is urgent or any mishap has happened. Sometimes she calls me to take my opinion on some important matter. I can't reply to her calls always. Even if I do, I make sure to hang up as soon as possible.
I reach home earliest by 8 PM at night. I sit with my parents for a while, take some snacks occasionally, and chat with them. At days I am tired, and recluse to my room. I only give company to my parents on weekends. However, weekends are marked by outings with friends, visiting relatives, watching movies, parties too. So, their time is cut short.
My father is a reserved person like I am and he keeps himself engaged in his own world. It's my mother who misses me the most. There are days when you don't like watching TV, or reading books. She is not much internet savvy either. She wants some company, someone she could speak her heart out. But she is bound to be alone. The demands of life have created virtual distances in our lives. We are strong mentally, connect in all ways; but when it comes to being physically by her side, my work schedule does not entail me doing so.
I thought this to be unavoidable. Yes, it's painful on her part, but what's the solution? I have to shape up my career. After all, she can see me at the end of the day. Some sons live away from their parents, there are others who stay in the same city but under different roofs. Life is this way, what to do?
I got married recently. My mother got a cheerful companion in my wife. She is a vibrant and jovial person and my mother thoroughly enjoys her company. They both bonded very closely within a month of our marriage. However, my wife went back to her home for a week to stay with her parents. She was missing home and her parents were missing her.
My mom's afternoons were lonely once more. She started missing her within a couple of days. It was back to her dull, monotonous routine and loneliness. The last week I was keeping unwell. Caught a bad cold and was almost unable to speak. However, my work commitments did not allow me taking leaves. I was following the same routine. The only difference being, since I was under medication, I felt extremely sleepy back from office. And once I reached home, I had my dinner and went straight to sleep.
Last night I was feeling a bit better and was reading a magazine in bed. It was then my mom sat beside me and started speaking, I could not make out for a moment whether it was a monologue or a dialogue. She was saying, "You know, last two days, I am feeling so sad I can't explain. Each afternoon I am having bouts of tears, I can't help crying. I am keeping myself busy, going to the terrace, watching TV, reading, but still can't help my tears." She noticed that she has interrupted my reading and stopped talking, and left the room.
I really had no answer, neither could I provide her any solace. Life is hard, isn't it guys? Your heart cries out to be with your loved ones, you can feel their tears, you want to bring them joy, but you can't, just can't. You have an answer, dear MS-ians?
