Well,this is a very special day for me. Today,my childhood buddy,my best friend is getting married. The marriage had been fixed a long ago,but finally materialized around this time. During this waiting period,he planned many things with us. We advised him,shared our opinions,made all sorts of future plans........but when it came about the invitation,he simply assumed that we can't attend due to our busy schedules,so didn't just bother to invite us at all! Well,it was weird,but........how many times I should repeat,I am practising the art of renouncing expectations! I didn't expect sense,especially common sense from my buddy.he's always like that right from his childhood. So I planned to let it go.
But man (here,woman) proposes,friends and relatives dispose! The more I wanted to forget the whole event,the less I succeeded. The credit,obviously goes to other friends. But mom was the first one to remind me. She called me excitedly, "So when are you arriving? Shall I come to airport to receive you?" "Airport? Where I am going? Mama,tomorrow I have half day workshop then I have to be in clinic till 6." Mom was like, "I know,you forgot........arre this is his great day,I have selected the saree for you to wear in the reception......." No mama,this time it's not me who forgot. People forgot your daughter who was with this friend always,like a stupid,for everything he needed. Now the purpose is served,why they will remember your daughter? Mom,finally when she understood the whole situation,she was more angry than shocked. She wanted to call my buddy and ask him the reason for doing this to me,but I told her not to do anything................the bad part was,for last few months she was expecting me on this occasion which was not fulfilled. I consoled her saying,next month I will try to give her a visit.
Now my dear friends started bombarding me with questions,why I am not invited. As if it was my fault! Some of them were amused,some searched for any clues of fight between me and my buddy. How could I make them understand,nothing happened,only they are making it too much.....But all these cocktailed form of advices and tcth-tcth made my day worse. I was feeling low...........how could he do so with me,such kind of thoughts started clouding my thinking atmosphere!
Suddenly I sat upright and pinched myself very hard. It was just a reflex,but it almost brought tears in my eyes. While I started practising the "expectation-cut" exercise,I made it a rule,whenever I start expecting,I will punish myself. So I did it. Again? No,not any more. Why should I pose myself as the "Bechara" when I had no fault? Self pity is the worst thing which makes somebody so poor in judgement. It's my buddy's life,he has the full right to decide whom he will invite and whom he should not on his special day. Why I am wasting my time thinking about that,and why all these negative feeling? I took the car keys and went out for a long drive. While coming back,I bought some supplies from the local grocery. I will cook something nice today. I already missed the grand dinner,so planning to treat myself for acting brave and not crying like a 5 years old! Yaar,after all you are in charge of your life,it's upto you how you want to make it. If I would sit at home and sulk,who will be benefited? Not you,at least! I started my day with something positive,had a healthy breakfast........now making a salad and chicken roast for lunch. After lunch I will listen to my favourite music and will have coffee with hubby. Then I have to prepare for tomorrows presentation. Anybody interested to join with me? I am very happy today....finally I saw the way to stay unaffected and cheerful in sadness also.
