The gradual growth process of human being actually begins when they learn the basic difference between the two major groups,Themselves versus others. In easy words, you and I. As a person always likes to see himself or herself in a favourable position,he/she tries to justify all of actions done by him/her. But if,somebody else tries to do the same thing in the same way,unfortunately,lenience never comes into action. Most of the time harsh judgement takes place; when it was favourable for us,mostly helps to tarnish others' characters and criticize them. In real life,daily we come across numerous examples of this. One of those,we are buying vegetables in market,if somebody picks up the vegetable we were aiming for long time standing in a queue,don't we get angry? Often we try to nurse our hurt ego,thinking, "Well,now a closer look shows it's not that fresh or moth-eaten,thank god I didn't choose to take it!" But is that really so? Few minute before only we were shouting at the top of our voice to get that specific item! When we choose it,it's always good,when somebody else opt for than,often it's bad. It's just a way to protect the ego and to boost the superiority complex growing in us.
Many years ago,I had a friend whose parents didn't like me. They always used to criticise my every action and asked my friend to stay away from me. When I was in college,they came to know from their son, I have planned to marry the guy whom I loved since my school days. It was foolish of him to disclose such a thing to his parents. But what those elders did,surprised me so much. They called me a bad-natured girl who has no control over herself. They even called my would-be in-laws and said enough bad things about me. All these made the situation quite complicated,but I was very much determined with my decision. Finally I got married and settled down much before my friend. Now,the new twist was waiting for me. My friend loved a girl from long times,he decided to marry that girl. To my utter surprise,those very people,his parents and family started praising him like anything. They started telling people, "See,that's called real love,see how dedicated my son is! He's marrying the girl whom he loved so long........"!!! Well,so that's the thing then! When you son does the same thing as I did,it's always right. But when I did it,it's horrible,unpardonable and a blot in our "cultured" society. Only it depends on how you represent the thing,nothing else. When you do it,it should be tarnish and when I do it,it should be glorified! Shall we call it difference of opinion? Or the way we look at things? Which one?
The fellow didn't marry the girl of his choice at the end. They had major difference of opinion and finally broke up. Again his parents had a 180 degree somersault and started saying,"That's why we call it offensive,people who love and finally get married are morally depleted.........our son is smart enough to set foot in that trap!" What to tell now? Nothing,isn't it? In childhood we heard a phrase,"He who has lost one ear,walks from the side of roads hiding his severed ear. But he whose both ears are severed walks right in the middle of the road without any shame". So true. People can go to any extent who have minimum or no amount of shame left,in order to cover their own weaknesses. But all can't be like them. Everything should be judged with minimum amount of bias,then only a person can go forward. I am right but you are wrong,no one can survive for a long term with such kind of biased mentality. If we really want to improve ourself as a human being,we have to look forward with lenience and patience. Otherwise nobody will be able to stand alone in the long run. To be with people, we need tolerance and justified thinking process. The sooner we achieve this, is the better for our future.
