"Chalo yaar bahot ho gaya"......well,that was my initial thought. Today while dusting an old shelf,I came across my textbooks of PG level. Those were badly covered with dust and cobwebs,in last few years no mortal fingers touched those. I had a mixed feeling while cleaning those. I have collected all these books after making so many sacrifices. In those days with my meagre wages I collected those over a period,one by one,even skipping breakfasts and cutting expenses of travelling. I had to walk 5 kilometres one way everyday to save just 3 rupees,I spent al those money on copying these books,I could not afford buying the original version. I can obviously have the proud of the greatest collection of these books,as some of those are really not available even in the college library. The xerox shop owner still remembers me bcoz of the huge volume of work he has done for me. But now,how I am using my treasure? Left them to rot on a corner shelf,without even bothering to open them!!!!!! Heights of indifference!
My heart filled with such a kind of shame and sadness that I never experienced. How we waste our precious lives! I stayed away from my family for such a long time for studies and what I am doing now,exactly? Not studying or applying the knowledge where it is needed,obviously. But wasting both my energy and resources where it is not needed! Shame on me! Then why did I do all these? I can't believe that I made such a mistake. I picked up the phone and discussed with my family about it. I was apprehensive as they could contradict or oppose but to my surprise they encouraged me to pursue further. The most important and positive boost I got is from my mom-in-law. She said, "We girls dream large,but once we get married,all dreams end up in the kitchen. The same thing happened to me too. But I will not let you repeat the same mistake. You will study and finish your research. Whatever happens in the family my son will handle. I will help him too." Then she added," Well,all I want is a doctorate,in our family we don't have one. So in return I want that from you."
I was thinking,how happy I am. I've got such a family which is so supportive. They understand me and also encourage to achieve my goal. I am thankful to god..........but how easy they made it for me! I was being confused between family responsibilities and career,but the solution came out so easily. Responsibilities can wait,but time and opportunity don't wait for anybody. So let me start my journey with enthusiasm and happiness. I don't know what waits for me at the end,but once I start the journey,I am sure I will not return empty handed!
